The only thing we love more than Revenge is Baby Carl David, but there's no denying that this show is ripe with WTF moments. Like, the fact that Emily Thorne's wine auction was filled with Christmas trees even though it's the summer. Or the fact that Declan Porter has a girlfriend. 

We've rounded up the Top 5 head-scratchers from this week's episode for you to look back on, and feel free to enjoy this list while wearing a black ski mask. Just 'cause.

1. Baby Carl David Lives on a Boat With Declan
If you've been wondering what Baby Carl David's been up to since his dad went to jail, there is major cause for concern. Turns out Carl is trapped on The Amanda with Declan as his babysitter, and his inner child is weeping.

We have no idea who allowed Declan to chill out with the Hampton's Lord and Saviour on what amounts to a raft, but something needs to be done. Need we remind you that Declan was a jewelry mule, like, five seconds ago? He's hardly a fit caregiver. Sigh, before we know it Baby Carl will be braiding hemp.

2. Is Daniel a Re-Claimed Virgin?
Someone call TLC and book Daniel an audition for The Virgin Diaries. Who knows if this dude is having some kind of poetic breakdown, but he's all about "taking it slow" with Emily. As in, they've barely kissed twice, and Daniel hasn't even tried to grope her over the dying body of a Labrador Retriever.

We're all about Daniel and Emily respecting each other's bodies or whatever, but give the people what they want, guys. Namely, candlelit love-making to the sound of Daniel's taped college poetry slams.

3. Conrad Fails to Notice Amanda Stealing His Watch
We know Conrad is lost in a world of madras shorts and boat shoes, but how is it possible that he didn't notice Amanda stealing his watch? It's not like she snuck into his boudoir and took it while he was busy ironing pleats into his pants, she literally snatched it off the desk he was sitting at — while he was staring at her.

Is this the beginning of early onset dementia? Because if so we have some serious reservations about Conrad running for public office.

4. Emily Exists in Alternate Space/Time Continuum
Oh, Emily, you crafty minx you! This week, our favorite pyromaniac managed to leave her party, slip into a black ski mask, get fake blood all over herself, and then drive back to The Hamptons to make it home in time for wine with Daniel. All in the space of what? Two hours? And that's not even taking into consideration the fact that it takes at least four hours to drive from New York City to Montauk.

Our theory? She flies around on a broom. OMG, she's Harry Potter.

5. Montauk Jail = Most Laid Back Place Ever
Let's just forget about that time that Daniel's sweet, naked body was beaten to a pulp in the Rikers Island jail showers, shall we? Now that Jack is incarcerated, this place is totally chill. Not only does this seaman spend his waking hours chatting to various biffles on the phone (and fantasizing about sea glass, one assumes), he's allowed visitors at all hours of the day. Like, we're pretty sure Amanda chilled with him at around midnight.

Apparently Montauk jail doesn't do "visiting hours." Just go with it.