Remind us never to go to the Hamptons, like, ever. If you thought this beachy town was full of ladies named Ina Garten and delicious clams, you'd be wrong. The entire village is infested with murderers, homeless British dudes, and prostitutes, and it's just like WTF is happening? Where are you Martha Stewart? Where are you?! 

Speaking of WTFs, we've rounded up the top 5 head-scratchers of episode for you to look back on!

1. Daniel Still Lives in His Parent's Guest House
Daniel Grayson is so rich that he uses the term "kumamoto" instead of Oyster. Dude just dropped million big ones on a rancid bottle of vino, yet where does he live? No, not in a fancy apartment or a festive beach bungalow. Danny Boy lives in his parents' pool house, like some college student who writes poetry and wears cowl necks all day. Oh, wait.

2. Victoria Wishes Charlotte Happy Birthday in French For No Reason
We love nothing more than when Victoria Grayson busts out her alter-ego, Ambiguously French Victoria. This maleficent matriarch spontaneously broke into The Language of Love (to quote: "bon anniversaire ma cherie!"), which we assume she learned during her days living with Daniel Day Lewis as a Mohican. French-Indian war, guys, duhhh!

3. Daniel Packs Emily's Bag, Amazing Outfits Ensue
Just when we think Daniel is a mere poetic mastermind, he up and turns into a fashionista! Apparently, Danny Boy broke into Emily's beach bungalow to pack her a vacation bag, and the outfits he picked? Top-notch. First there was the long sleeved cover-up, which looked like it was crocheted by a crazy old lady (aka Kara Wallace Clarke). But Daniel's real piece de resistance? Emily's dinner dress, which was basically a naughty sailor's costume. Consider us terrified.

4. Nolan Is Totally Grossed Out By House Keys
Did you see Nolan's face when Padma presented him with that pedestrian house key? He looked completely disgusted. Because the only thing more off-putting than a house key is a seamen in hemp (looking at you, Declan). We're not sure how Nolan thinks doors should open, but we're assuming he wants to enter and leave his home using some kind of nerdy command like "Orc Lover" or "Gandalf."

5. Literally No One Cares About Charlotte
Every since it was revealed that Charlotte's the illegitimate love child of David Clarke, everyone's been totally ignoring her. Girlfriend spends her waking hours lurking at The Stowaway like some sad feral cat, and this week her entire family forgot about her birthday. This is what happens when you start dating people named Declan, girl.