We were WTF-ing ourselves silly during this week's episode of Revenge, mostly because Jack spent the entire episode half-naked in a hospital gown, looking 50 shades of deranged, and having conversations with jars of sea glass. But we've rounded up the 5 biggest jaw-droppers for you to look back on, which we suggest you enjoy over some black caviar. We're in mourning, guys.

1. Carl Only Wears Hoodies
Panic, everyone. Please feel free to FLY INTO A PANIC. We thought poor Baby Carl would be protected from Declan's sartorial reign of terror by living with Victoria, but tragically this love child is not decked out in Herve Leger bandage onesies like we had hoped. Instead, Carl "Miniature Sea Urchin" David spent the entirety of this week's episode wearing a hoodie. A black hoodie of mourning, to be exact. Sob, it's like he's Declan only smaller and more tragic. Honestly, if Carl David shows up next week wearing a v-neck, we're going to write a letter of complaint to imaginary Montauk Child Services.

2. Jack Attacks a Jar of Sea Glass
We know Jack doesn't have a lot of "thoughts," what with the fact that he used all his brain cells to grow out his hair flop, but lately this seaman has been so sad. And by sad we mean he ferociously ugly-cried while a bunch of mysterious tubes were stuck to his bulging neck. The last time we saw someone act like such a hot mess, we were watching The Notebook and looking at ourselves in a mirror. And don't even get us started on the way Jack lashed out at that innocent jar of sean glass. It's like, what did the glass shards do to you, Jack? Just go back to making women's necklaces like the good ol' days!

3. Breaking: Daniel Might Be an Unintentional Pervert
So, apparently our boy Daniel finally realized that his office clock has a camera in it. But did he destroy said clock so The Initiative's dream team could stop peeping on him? Nope. Instead he gifted it to his sexy secretary, who presumably put it in her house having no idea that she was being watched by a professional team of voyeurs. Way to fail, Daniel. The silver-lining? Once this troubled soul realizes that he accidentally-on-purpose violated his secretary's privacy, he'll probably write a couplet about it. We live in hope.

4. Amanda's Blood Is Like a Clingy Boyfriend
Let's walk through Amanda's death. As far as we know, girlfriend semi-exploded in a boat bomb, was dragged onto a half-sunken raft by Emily, and then shoved out to sea. Then, Emily sobbed hysterically in a pool of water, swam over to Nolan's boat, and made her way back to the Hamptons. So what have we learned? Emily's body was submerged in water for hours, yet she still had Amanda's blood encrusted all over her fingers. Unless Ems was digging into Amanda's corpse (ew, we just horrified ourselves with that sentence), her bloody hands make zero sense. Working theory: Amanda's blood is infused with magical water-repelling stripper genes.

5. Victoria and Conrad Meet Trask ... at a High School?
This week, Conrad and his bride reluctantly met Trask in public, which apparently translated to some high school bleachers. We're not sure how these professional murderers were allowed on school property, but we expected Danny Zuko and Sandy Olsen to be making out underneath them. Also, shout out to the teenage basketball players lurking in the background of this scene. Hope you guys don't get murdered for being accidental witnesses!