WTFs were in the air during this week's spooky-scary episode of Revenge, and we're currently high on the fumes. Check out the biggest jaw-dropping moments from Season 2, Episode 18, "Masquerade," in our WTF roundup!

1. Declan = Pumpkin Murderer

Halloween is a terrifying time full of creepy children, Hocus Pocus marathons (hear you 4EVA, Thackery Binx) and the deranged murderer known as Declan Porter. Sure, Declan spends the majority of his time braiding hemp, whittling drift wood, and middle-parting his hair, but his alternate personality comes out on All Hallow's Eve, and we got a terrifying taste during this week's Revenge. Our favorite seaman was hardly featured in the episode (WHY, Mike Kelley, WHY?), but he did pop up in the opening montage, where he brutally stabbed an innocent pumpkin. What have we learned? 1) Declan spends his alone time carving gourds and it's the most depressing thing ever. 2) Declan might be a murderer. Foreshadowing, guys.

2. Nolan Has Morphed Into Carrie From Homeland

We are so worried about Nolan. Help us help you, friend. Not only did this geek spend zero time in a polo shirt during this week's episode of Revenge, he seems to have face-planted into psychotic break. Not only has Nolan covered his office in deranged nerd musings, he's morphed into Carrie circa Homeland, which means he'll likely be recruited by the CIA at any moment. Also, Nolan appears to have forgotten that paper exists. There is no need to write on your windows, buddy. It's called a powerpoint presentation. It's like you've forgotten how to use a computer.

3. Conrad Exposes His Chest Hair, We Go Blind

It's official: Conrad Grayson is spending way too much time with Declan and Jack. We knew these wayward urchins were a bad influence on King Connie when he ditched his tuxedo for madras shorts, but he's taken this whole "relating to the common people thing" slightly too far. Basically, he's morphed into a total plebeian. Want proof? Conrad spent two full minutes of screen time with the top three buttons of his shirt undone. His chest hair was blowing in the breeze, and it was almost as terrifying as Declan's pumpkin fetish, only even more erotic. Thank God Ashley stopped the madness before Conrad slipped into a shell necklace.

4. Revenge Might Have Accidentally Turned Into Gossip Girl

Those of you who are still mourning the loss of Gossip Girl (not to be confused with Dan Humphrey, actual Gossip Girl), fear not. All your favorite Upper East Siders are currently hanging out at Victoria's masquerade ball. Because apparently middle-aged adults love nothing more than dressing up in mysterious masks and trolling around the mist. That's right, mist. From the fog machines, mmmk? Honestly, if Chuck Bass isn't Victoria's secret son, we're going to be penning a letter of complaint to ABC headquarters.

5. Um, Padma's Dead

Way to fail at revenging, Emily. It's like, you'd think this girl would have made a slightly bigger effort to find Nolan's lover in the past six weeks, but no. And when Emily finally did get her act together, Padma was already six feet under. We know Emily had other things on her mind (like fondling black roses and making eye contact with invisible people off screen), but this is a major smear on her revengenda. The red Sharpies, Emily. They are so ashamed of you right now.