This week's episode of Revenge was even more delicious than a recently slaughtered filet of Montauk Salmon. In fact, it was quite possibly the best episode of the season –– mostly because we found out that Declan's love child is being baked in Charlotte's lady oven. Which also happens to be the biggest WTF moment ever. And speaking of WTFs, check out the 5 biggest head-scratchers of the episode!

1. Declan Is A Full Blow Larcenist

Guys, it's like Declan isn't even trying anymore. Remember back in the day when he hid his kleptomania like a normal person? Now this wandering wharf rat openly steals money from The Stowaway's tip jar –– money which is meant for people who actually, you know, work there. Last time we checked, Declan was too busy "applying to NYU" (ahahaha) and braiding hemp friendship bracelets to have time for bartending –– plus he isn't old enough to serve alcohol much less drink it. Way to be the worst, Declan. No wonder Charlotte threw up when she saw you.

2. Daniel Posts His Engagement Announcement on The Huffington Post

Last time we checked, most high-profile couples announce their engagement in The New York Times. At least, that's what we've learned from watching six seasons of Gossip Girl. However, it appears that poor Daniel is confused and thinks that The Huffington Post is an acceptable place to make such an announcement. Nope, nope, nope. Well, unless Daniel wants the news of his engagement to Emily sandwiched between a cat video and a "think piece" about the environment.

3. Takeda Trolls the Sand Dunes, No1Curr

You guys, we think Takeda might be invisible. Because no one seems to have noticed the fact that he was loitering on the beach outside of Emily's bungalow, nor the fact that Emily left her own engagement party to have a full-blown conversation with him about revenge. We can only assume that this recently deceased sensei has been shacking up in a sand dune, presumably with the remains of Sammy the Dog. We all know how much he loves canines.

4. Daniel Is the Worst Expat Ever

We're so worried about Daniel moving to France. Not only does this dude understand approximately zero amounts of French, he seems to have given up all his business ventures, and you know what that means. We can only assume that he'll start wearing stripped turtlenecks, middle-parting his hair, and become a full-time scrapbooker/poet. Daniel has so many feelings, you guys, and he wants to word-vom them all over The City of Lights. On behalf of The United States, we're so sorry, Paris.

5. DECLAN HAS AN HEIR

No words. Except for all the words in the entire world. It appears that our dreams have officially come true, because Declan has sown his wild, seaman-y oats into Charlotte's womb, which means Baby Carl David can go ahead and step aside. The Hamptons' Heir is about to be birthed into the world, and we can only assume it will come out of Charlotte's lady parts draped in a hemp shroud and rocking a hair flop. Clearly, this is the best news of your life, so feel free to celebrate by binge eating a stolen lobster claw.