This week's game-changing episode of Revenge was particularly WTF-y, and we blame baby Carl David. We can already tell he's hatching a revenge plan in that baby brain of his. In other news, check out our roundup of the top 5 WTF moments of the episode! Not on the list? The Gift of Revenge. Mostly because we have no words.
5. Conrad = Really Bad At Shaving
So, this week's eppie kicked off with a beautiful slow-motion shot of Conrad shaving his face for no apparent reason. And what have we learned? This handsome fella literally has no idea how to shave. He pretty much self-inflicted a giant flesh wound on his first attempt, that's how bad he is. One can only assume that he's used to being shaved by a fleet of indentured servants.
4. Emily Has a French Tipped Manicure – IS THIS 2002?
Panic: Emily's nails are french-tipped. The only reasonable explanation is that she's been watching marathons of The Real Housewives of Miami, which –– come to think of it –– is totally acceptable. Next thing we know Em will be rocking press-ons with pieces of fake glitter on them. OMG, will she pierce her nail tips? These are the things we worry about.
3. Victoria Strokes a Pistol in Her Free Time
Move over Conrad, it appears that Victoria is in an intimate relationship with her pistol. And why not? It's covered in pearls and glitter. Victoria spent most of this week's Revenge stroking her pistol like it was a cat, and frankly we're worried that she'll accidentally shoot herself in a moment of sextacy.
2. Kara Wallace Clarke: Professional Larcenist
Let's discuss the fact that Kara single-handedly took down the Grayson's entire security system. Did you see her with that hilarious computer screen? She was pushing all kinds of buttons. All we have to say is, fail, Grayson security team. There are, like, twenty of you patrolling this house. Get your act together and stop letting crazy hippies break into Conrad and Victoria's mansion.
1. Nolan Has No Idea How Frames Work
Nolan has a lot to be proud of. He has great hair, awesome fashion, and he turned David Clarke's $50k investment into a multi billion dollar company. But apparently he has no idea how frames work. His solution for taking David's check out of its frame was to smash said frame against the corner of a table, shattering glass all over his office in the process. Sigh, nerds. They are so bad at things other than Magic the Gathering.
BONUS: The FBI Literally Have No Idea What They're Doing
At this point, the FBI are pretty much willing to arrest anyone who has Revenge pinboard, so we expect them to show up at our house any day now.