The biggest WTF moment this week is clearly the fact that Revenge will be on hiatus for an entire month. Us = rolling all over a sand dune weeping. Wherefore art thou, Revenge?! Of course, there are other (slightly less traumatizing) WTFs that need to be addressed, and we've rounded up the highlights!
1. Skeet-Shooting: Let's Discuss
Remember how in the 1700s British royals used to dress up in riding outfits and frolic about while shooting guns at giant pheasants? This week's skeet-shooting session was kind of like that, only everyone was dressed in 50 shades of beige, and Victoria debuted her 18th century court jester blouse. We don't know who arranged this skeet-athon, but one can only assume The Dowager Countess time travelled from Downton Abbey and planned the entire event.
2. Emily Renounces Satan, We LOL
We expect Emily Thorne to spontaneously burst into flames any day now. This girl committed all kinds of religious crimes during this week's episode, including setting foot in a church, making eye-contact with a priest, and telling a lie in front of the holy deity that is Baby Carl David. Yep, Emily renounced Satan, and it's just like please. We all know you have a deal with the devil. How else does your hair remain such a miraculous shade of blonde?
3. Matt Gets Beaten Up On Dock, No One Notices
We're worried about Montauk. Not only does this small fishing village have its very own mafia (which we assume is spearheaded by Don Ina Garten), people just can't stop getting murdered. And in broad daylight! Kenny and his evil sea urchin brother beat poor Matt within an inch of his life in the middle of the afternoon, and did anyone notice? Narry a lobster, guys. Narry a lobster.
4. Daniel and Emily's Relationship: Way More Fun Than We Remember
You may have noticed Daniel trolling through photos at the end of this week's episode, mostly because it was totally hilarious. Spaniel deleted every last picture of Ashley, but his 'shippy pics of Em frolicking on the beach? We expect him to make a collage out of them any day now. And speaking of said pictures, who took them? Last time we checked Em and Danny didn't have any "couple friends," so we're gonna go with Sammy the Dog. He had opposable thumbs, mmmk?
5. Daniel Is Totally and Completely Evil
OMG you guys, someone call a lawyer. Ashley Davenport needs to sue Daniel for shoving her. That's right, he shoved –– as in his hands pushed Ashley's fragile body in a rage. Daniel's never been a violent man (except for that time he kinda-sorta-maybe killed Tyler), and we couldn't believe our eyes when he flung himself at Ashley after she was caught cheating. What gives, Spaniel? Just settle down and write a haiku about your feelings. Or, if you must, break out your cowl neck. Something needs to be done!