Revenge

Summer is coming to a close on Revenge, and you know what that means: our favorite rich kids are packing up their Louis Vuitton suitcases and heading back to the Big Apple, where they’ll spend the fall, winter and spring trolling the Upper East Side.

So where does that leave Jack? All alone in Montauk with a half-dead dog, that’s where.

Revenge just wouldn’t be the same without Jack and his floppy hair, so check out five ways he can still be a main character — even if the show relocates to NYC!

1. Sammy the Dog Runs Away to the Upper East Side

If we know one thing about Sammy, it’s that he loves the movie Homeward Bound. How else do you explain his frequent need to travel great distances just to visit Emily?

Now that Sammy’s favorite gal is booking it back to New York, we have no doubt that he’ll walk all the way from Montauk to Madison Avenue just to say “woof.” And who will come to Sammy’s rescue? Jack!

Depending on how many times Ghost Dog ditches his owner, Jack could spend every weekend crashing at Em’s bachelorette pad...

2. The Trial Takes Place in the Hamptons

Rumor has it that the yet-to-be-identified dead body in Victoria’s backyard will lead to the trial of the century on Revenge. Which means that even if our handsome Hamptonites do move back to New York for the off-season, frequent trips beach-side will be necessary since the crime was committed in the Hamptons.

Assuming that Emily and her frenemies will be on the witness stand, there should be plenty of opportunity for Jack to whip up a clam bake or two at the Stowaway. Especially if he’s the killer!

3. Jack Decides Brooklyn Is the New Montauk

Jack is the ultimate hipster. He wears flannel, looks like he stepped out of 1998, and seems to appreciate whimsy more than a normal person. So, why is he living in Montauk?

Clearly, Jack needs to pack his duffel bag and migrate to Williamsburg, Brooklyn — where he can open an oyster bar and behold the wonders of Member’s Only jackets.

And if you’re worried that Em won’t step foot in Brooklyn to visit him, don’t be. She might wear Louboutins, but girlfriend used to wander around looking like Alanis Morissette circa Jagged Little Pill. She’d fit right in.

4. Declan Gets Into Private School, Rejoins the Cast of Gossip Girl

As we all know, Declan is an uneducated former Bostonian who can only read using Cliff Notes. Poor thing is desperate for some proper schooling.

We suggest that he apply to a private school next to The Met in NYC, get adopted by a family named the van der Woodsens, and live the rest of his life as recovering drug addict. Oh, and sorry Charlotte — Declan’s gay now.

If all goes according to plan, Jack will visit his little bro a few times a month, giving him plenty of opportunity to bond with Emily Thorne and her bad self.

5. Amanda Gets a Job at NYC’s Finest Strip Club, Jack Follows Her!

Ever heard of Cheetah’s? Let’s hope not, because otherwise things just got awkward. Cheetah’s is New York City’s premier strip club — which doubles as a gourmet sushi restaurant! We have no doubt that Amanda could get a job there with that Piper Perabo table dancing routine of hers, and Jack would surely spend most evenings sticking benjamins in her bra.

Can you imagine the amazing plot possibilities if this happens? We’re thinking a spin off show: Jack and Mandy Take New York.