This week's frenzied episode of Revenge was packed to the brim with WTF moments, much like lobster rolls are packed to the brim with lobster flesh. We've rounded up the best of the best, but clearly the biggest jaw-dropper was the fact that there weren't passed hors d'oeuvres at Conrad and Victoria's wedding. Like....unacceptable.
6) Mason's Pin Board = Amature Hour
We need to discuss Mason's pin board of newspaper clippings. There's no denying that boyfriend is motivated (and a huge Homeland fan), but clearly Mason hasn't been paying attention in Stalker Board Crafting 101. He used the same colored piece of red yarn for all his connections! The whole point of creating a suspect map is color coding. Poor little lamb has no idea what he's doing.
5) Is Ashley Moonlighting As A Seamstress?
Did anyone else notice that Conrad had his tuxedo fitted by some terrified little man named Gino, but Daniel had his tuxedo fitted by....his girlfriend? Ashley was literally pinning Danny Boy's sleeves like a pro seamstress. Sigh, guess this is the silver lining to dating the help.
4) Kara Huffs Victoria's Perfume, Remains Unhinged
As we all know, Kara is a blazed-up, free-spirited hippie who loves cotton blouses. Also, she happens to be insane in the membrane. But wait –– breaking news! She's also super into huffing perfume, which explains so much. Clearly, poor Kara is high on the flavorful notes of golden quince, exotic kiwi, and "sexy white chocolate orchid." In other words, she's addicted to Fantasy by Britney Spears.
3) Kara Flashes Back To Her Time With The White Haired Man, We Shudder
There's nothing like a good ol' fashioned flashback, and this week's blast to the past boldly went where no Revenge flashback should ever go. Namely, to the White-Haired Man and Kara's love shack, which was basically a Lifetime movie crossed with a Raymour & Flanigan home goods commercial. Cindy Crawford approves.
2) Feds Are Really, Really Bad At Everything
Look, we know Emily Thorne is a criminal mastermind who could out-sleuth the Feds any day of the week, but guys. We're extremely worried about this wack pack's forensic skills. Apparently, they failed to notice that the White-Haired Man's body had been deep-frozen and thawed, because things like "science" don't exist in the Hamptons. Where are the cast of Bones when you need them?
1) Amanda Loses Every Last Ounce of Her Baby Weight In One Week
Fauxmanda has been blessed with a fabulous body, and now it appears that she is magical like a unicorn. Not only did this gal make it through her pregnancy without cankles and varicose veins, she shed her baby weight in seven days. Like, even the producers of Friends slapped a fake belly on Rachel for a few episodes postpartum, and that was the ‘90s.
Did you guys notice any more WTF’s? Share them below!