The night we’ve been waiting for has finally arrived, and let’s just say dead six-packs hit the sand. There’s no doubt that Revenge’s Fire & Ice Ball is a night to remember, and we’re not just talking about Emily’s weird kangaroo pouch dress.
Curious to find out who died and who pulled the trigger? Read on!
Emily’s reeling after the bungalow break-in, but it doesn’t take her long to get a clue. Turns out Tyler’s broken out of his insane asylum, kidnapped Faux-manda, and has Emily’s box of secrets held hostage — all of which he politely tells Em over the phone. Sigh, he’s back y'all.
After a long day of mystery-solving and looking sinister, Emily comes home, tucks Daniel safely into bed (goodnight, sweet prince), and proceeds to grab her gun from its hiding place. You never knows when you might have to kill an escaped inmate!
Meanwhile, Tyler’s living in some kind of yuppie barn with Amanda, and he’s determined to poison Mandy’s mind against Emily. Girl has never been the smartest tool in the shed (literally in this case), so it’s only a matter of time before she’s convinced Em’s been using her.
The next day, Victoria’s lackeys are buzzing over the upcoming Fire & Ice Ball (biggest beach party of the year!), but her illicit affair with David Clarke is casting a shadow on the whole ordeal. For starters, Daniel is furious with his mom, so Victoria solicits Emily’s help in encouraging him to put on a brave face. But of course, Emily has more important things on her mind — like the fact that Tyler stole her Satoshi Box of Fun.
Meanwhile, Grandpa Grayson is determined to groom Daniel to take over the company. First up, he wants Daniel to meet with our favorite man of mystery, Satoshi, and convince him to keep his money with Grayson Global. Surprisingly, Daniel meets with Emily’s secret mentor only to tell him that he’s “running away” with Emily. Forget about Daniel, we’re just thrilled that Satoshi and his karate chops are back in our lives.
The Plot Thickens
After being told that her real father is a mass murderer and possible rapist, Charlotte is bumming hard. So she does what any normal debutante would do — gets wasted drunk at her plebeian boyfriend’s bar. After vomiting into Jack’s toilet, Charlotte is eager to self-medicate, so she decides to pop some of his prescription Oxycontin and get stoned. Meanwhile, Declan thinks Charlotte should see a therapist — but Grandpa Grayson doesn’t want her sharing any family secrets with a stranger. And he’ll guarantee Declan a spot at Collins Prep if she agrees to keep quiet!
Meanwhile, Tyler seems willing to trade some fast cash for Emily’s box of secrets, but things are never as simple as they seem with the criminally handsome. Emily meets up with Ty in an abandoned parking lot and immediately holds a gun to his head, but the tables turn when Amanda shows up out of nowhere. Yep, looks like Emily’s BFF (girls of Cell Block D 4eva!) is working for The Talented Mr. Tyler, and together they steal Em’s money and speed away with her box full of secrets.
Back at Casa De Revenge, Nolan watches Emily load her gun, when who should show up but Jack! He’s finally decided to give up on Amanda and sail to Haiti to build a school, so he stops by Emily’s house to drop off Sammy Dog, who’s miraculously still alive. New theory: Sammy works for Tyler and is trying to kill us all.
Over at the Grayson Mansion, Victoria’s majorly stressed because her kids hate her, her husband is trying to ruin her, and to top it all off, party planning is super stressful. Luckily, Conrad wants to keep the divorce simple, so he offers Victoria the deed to Grayson Manor as well as cash value for her shares in the company. Will she settle? Looks like it, but somehow we don’t trust the documents that she asks Connie to sign....
Meanwhile, Tyler and Amanda are getting ready for the Fire & Ice bash when Ty-Ty reveals his motive for taking down Emily: He thinks she killed Frank Stevens (who Amanda shoveled to death), and is going to frame Emily for Daniel’s upcoming death. An eye for an eye, and all that jazz!
The Dead Body
It’s the night of the Fire & Ice ball, and tensions are high! As you might remember from watching the pilot, this is an unmissable party featuring all of the Hamptons’ rich and famous. So yeah, inviting Declan was obviously some kind of cruel trick on behalf of the creators of Gossip Girl.
After stashing her gun in her garters, Emily heads to the party with Daniel where they’re immediately greeted by a hoard of people waiting to celebrate good times. Victoria takes the opportunity to confess how much she loved David Clarke to Daniel, and he says he’s taking Emily to Paris right after the party. That’s right, they’re going to get married in a secret baguette shop, just like Lorelei and Chris in Gilmore Girls (Anyone? Anyone?).
Over at the barn, Amanda wants out of Tyler’s evil plan, so she punches him in the face (but not before getting shot) and ends up running frantically to Jack’s boat, where they have a romantic reunion. Jack tells Amanda all about how supportive Emily’s been, and Mandy feels so guilty that she ditches Jack to go save Em from Tyler. Luckily, Jack realizes that Amanda’s bleeding and follows her. Meanwhile, Nolan is at the Fire & Ice ball peeping on Jack with his whale cam, but it’s unclear whether or not he knows that Amanda and Jack are on the run.
Back at the party, Satoshi saunters over to Emily and hands her a huge gift: Her dad’s box of secrets all wrapped up with a bow. He tells Em to bury the box on the beach, and assures her that everything will be revealed when she comes back to the party. Apparently, no one notices when Em ditches the soiree to dig a enormous hole in the sand, except Daniel –– who grumpily pitches his whole Paris plan to her. When Emily rejects his offer, Daniel storms off thinking she’s just using him for the Grayson name, which is probably the biggest mistake he’s ever made in his life.
Daniel wanders down to the beach to compose some poetry (we assume), when Tyler shows up with a gun and tells him the truth about Emily: She’s been playing him for a fool.
Meanwhile, Jack is busy following Amanda when he hears gunshots and finds his gal crouched over a dead body. Amanda runs to Jack’s truck as he drags the body to some shrubs, when Declan and Charlotte suddenly skip down to the beach and scare him off.
Up at the party, Victoria gives the speech that we all saw during the pilot episode, when Charlotte interrupts screaming something about her brother. It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for!
The entire party runs in slow motion to the beach and then we finally see the body. At this point we’re panicking because a brief shot during the opening credits showed a slow-motion Daniel falling to the ground. So, is he dead, or was he just suffering from an emo-induced fainting spell?
Well, today’s your lucky day, ladies. The original OG Tyler Barrol is the beach-side body, which means Daniel’s six-pack is safe. Thank god! But um, where is Daniel? As the Graysons stare in shock at Tyler’s corpse, Dan the Man staggers out of some shrubs, covered in blood and completely confused.
Did he kill Tyler, or is this the work of Satoshi?
Tune into an all new episode of Revenge the week after next to find out!