Happy Sunday, Revengers! In tonight’s drama-packed episode, “Masquerade,” we saw some paper faces on parade, and some amateur pumpkin carving from Declan Porter./
In order to accept Victoria Grayson’s uber-fabulous invitation to her Halloween masquerade ball, we’ve flashed forward six weeks to October ... despite the fact that it’s actually late March. You follow?
A lot can happen in mere seconds on Revenge, but it looks like in the six weeks since Episode 17, “Victory,” took place, the only drama in the Hamptons centers around Nolan Ross’s B.O. Seriously, homeboy is in desperate need of a shower and should get reacquainted with a comb and some styling gel, stat.
But Nolan’s not the only one going extra stir crazy in this week’s episode! Here’s what happened:
Confessions of a Techie Drama Queen
Nolan Ross is straight buggin’ after spending six weeks trying to crack The Falcon’s code. This winged hacker could clearly take on Mark Zuckerberg with his feathers tied behind his back, and Nolan’s no closer to saving the hostage in distress, Padma Lahari.
Now that Padma has given The Initiative the Carrion program, she’s not longer an asset to the team, and will likely be axed any day now.
Nolan’s beautiful mind his holed up in his office writing equations on his wall, ordering takeout, and utterly failing at general hygiene. To make matters worse, he found a love letter from his former CFO filled with dreams of barefoot beaches and frolicking labradors. Sigh, good times.
But he doesn’t have time to find the cure for Padma’s imprisonment because Jack “I-Hate-Everyone-Especially-My-Friends” Porter needs his help, and Emily wants him to get back on Jack’s good side. Why? Well, he does make the best mojito in Montauk!
Meanwhile, Aiden and Ems are totally feeling guilty for leaving their sexy sidekick in the lurch when Padma got kidnapped and are looking for a way to make it up to him. But instead of buying him the latest World of Warcraft, Aiden is trying to get Trask out of hiding in order to find Padma.
When he liquidates The Initiative’s assets in Grayson Global, Trask slicks his hair back and makes the mistake of coming out of hiding just in time for Aiden to put a gun to his head.
Trask takes him to Padma’s holding cell where Aiden sees the now-dead Ms. Lahari. As we all know, Aiden doesn’t handle losing well and quickly places Trask in a headlock that ... ahem ... limits his breathing. That’s two Initiative reps down in only a couple months of each other. We thought they were the terrorists.
When Emily and Aiden try to tell Nolan the bad news, he has a total breakdown involving major tears and the duo’s first true embrace. Ummm, can we forget about Padma and Aiden and bring on the revolution that would be Nemily?!
But this emotion-fueled bonding can’t last forever and the authorities now suspect Nolan in the murder of Padma. He refuses to talk, but we know that this paisley-printed pretty boy won’t last long behind bars.
Behind Enemy Lines
Now that Captain Jack has agreed to be Conrad’s Jack the Plumber in his gubernatorial campaign, he’s working closely with Ashley Davenport. And no one knows how to plan a public forum like an art history major-turned-hooker-turned-party planner-turned-PR rep-turned-secretary-turned-mistress-turned-campaign manager.
She’s arranged it so that Jack is the little voice inside Conrad’s head as he talks to the “common folk” (aka those who only have one summer beach house). But, with Nolan’s help, Jack plans to trip the Con Man up.
When a question comes up about the David Clarke case in Conrad’s Q&A, he accidentally makes the promise to reopen the trial and clear the name of his wife’s former lover. Whoops!
Conrad takes no time blaming the slip up on Ms. Davenport, and the scorned worker’s fashion-forward rage doesn’t go unnoticed by Jack Porter.
He reaches out to the conflicted concubine to help him with his mission to take down the Graysons, and after sneaking a peek at Baby Carl David’s spittle, she agrees.
Most Eligible Bachelor
In addition to being another opportunity to snag some charitable donations for Conrad’s campaign, Victoria’s masquerade ball has turned into the Daniel Grayson meat market. Fresh off her triumphant threat on Emily’s life, Vicki’s looking to set up her ... second-born son in the hopes that he’ll one day move out of their pool house.
You’ve seen Failure to Launch, don’t try to deny it.
But Danny’s still smitten with Ems and luckily there’s a ball coming up where the Hamptonites get to wear half-masks that totally hide their identities.
When Trask confirms that the threat to Emily wasn’t sent from The Initiative, the collegiate poet is so excited and immediately begins constructing limericks to Ms. Thorne while also inviting her to the masquerade ball.
And he goes way beyond that, splashing their paparazzi shot on Page Six. Because that’s totally the kind of gossip everyone’s dying for. But Daniel’s main intent — to piss off mommy dearest — goes off without a hitch and he quickly lets Vicki know that he’s on to her scheme.
But Victoria’s not the only one angered by the news of Emily and Daniel’s reunion. Aiden is fuming at the potential loss of his GF and even says he’s “sickened” by her actions. Umm dude, you just killed a man. Check yo’self.
Look Who’s Talking!
By now the Graysons should know that anytime there’s a party, ball, dinner, or afternoon squash game, someone’s getting arrested, dying, or being publicly humiliated. But for some reason, Victoria insists on planning a Halloween masquerade ball.
And while there are plenty of unwanted guests (read: Emily Thorne), one RSVP card is extra off-putting. Somehow Ems managed to postmark a response from 40 years ago telling Vicki that her loving son would be attending the spooky evening festivities.
This causes the Ice Queen to flashback to age 16 when she first found out she was pregnant. Not only do we see Victoria panicking at the news of her first pregnancy, but she also shows that even in the darkest of times, she could flawlessly apply lipstick.
Ignoring the message, and calling Ash a “seasonal trifle” in the process, Victoria proceeds with her masquerade plans. But Emily isn’t going to let her get away that easily.
She stops by Grayson Manor to remind Victoria of her flowery words about losing children after failing to receive an invite to the event of the season. After some barb-filled exchanges, Victoria assures Ems that her invitation didn’t get lost in the mail, but instead she didn’t invite the pyromaniac. Oh no she did-n’t. Bitches be triflin’, are we right?
To set her straight, Ems sends 11 black roses to Victoria with another note from her first born. The note says the twelfth rose will be attached to the lapel of her son. But according to Victoria, he wasn’t born at all. Vicki tells Conrad that he had an abortion after she became pregnant by her mother’s latest boyfriend.
Did she really go through with it or is her son actually out there, decked in Prada, and waiting to find his long-lost socialite?
Well, Victoria’s certainly got her antennas up at the ball and when she spots the man she thinks is her son, she follows him through the party and ends up fainting into Aiden’s arms. Yeah right, like that was an accident.
The day after, Connie’s pissed that his wife went unconscious (ugh, she’s, like, so annoying) and wants proof that Victoria did, in fact, have an abortion.
Victoria goes to a Catholic school where she gives us two major surprises. First, God doesn’t smite her on the spot and second we learn that the Ice Queen did have the child and gave him to a nun with the promise that she would never tell him his mother’s identity or reveal what had become of him.
But Emily Thorne was close behind to give a confession of her own. She claims to be preggers, which is totally not true (but if it where there are so many baby daddy options). Will she be able to get close enough to uncover the whereabouts of Victoria’s son? Only time will tell.
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