We are currently dry-heaving ourselves silly thanks to Jack Porter and Amanda Clarke's beachside wedding. The pipe-cleaner rings, guys! It's just all so beautiful and not at all weird, sob! Oh, and in other news the quotes were top notch during this week's triumphant episode of Revenge, mostly because Declan and his hilarious white zippered vest were heavily featured. You're welcome, world. You're welcome for the beautiful gift that is Declan.

10. Nolan le sighs: "Who knew 'officiant' is French for 'wedding bitch'?"
Ugh, Jack is such a bridezilla.

9. David Clarke pities himself: "The whole world is against me."
Whatever, David. This is what you get for officiating marriages between children.

8. Amanda eye-rolls at her hubby: "I get it Jack, you’re proud."
Too proud to get a real haircut.

7. Emily grills Nolan: "Any news on Aiden's whereabouts?"
Nolan: "Not since La La Land."
Apparently, La La Land is a place where British men wander around in white linen blouses.

6. Declan spies Jack: "Oh my God, you actually shaved."
Miracles do happen! Baby Carl David can finally be seen in public with his father.

5. Ashley dismisses our queen: "Victoria, do you mind? We are actually in the middle of things."
Victoria: "And fully clothed, how refreshing."
Reminder: later that night she killed someone.

4. Nolan finger-wags Padma: "Hey, careful who you’re calling black, little kettle."
Leave it up to this guy to remain adorable even when angry.

3. Declan ponders life's mysteries: "Does anyone even answer phones anymore?"
It's called sexting Declan. Learn to love it.

2. Jack makes Amanda an offer she can't refuse: "With this ring, you will be my wife forever."
Stop with your sinister threats, Jack!

1. Jack tries his hand at romance: "You, uh, ready to sail, Mrs. Porter?"
And fails miserably.