This week's Revenge quotes were even more devious and delicious than usual, mostly because Jack Porter is certifiably insane and Emily Thorne is a pyromaniac. Basically, everyone on this show is going crazy and it's amazing. We've rounded up the top 10 doozies from the episode for you to look back on –– while sipping on a glass of Cristal (by which we mean Franzia), obviously.
10. Emily relives the good ol' days: "I burned down our house."
9. Jack admits to his own insanity: "I'm just going crazy trying to make sense of that night."
8. Conrad looks back on ye olden days: "It seems like that regatta was just…yesterday."
Nothing stirs up Conrad's emotions like a yacht race.
7. Eli eyes Emily: "Lookin' pretty good for a dead girl."
6. Nolan gets his old timey humor on: "So, Eli James. That's quite the criminal record…any relation to Jesse?"
Clearly, Eli moonlights as a train robber.
5. Conrad attempts to pay Daniel a compliment: "You are my blood, Mathis is a common parasite."
But, like, a really good looking common parasite.
4. Victoria muses on cuddly animals: "Are you telling me Eli's a wolf in sheeps clothing? Because all I can see is the sheep."
Victoria has been watching way too much Animal Planet.
3. Nolan eyes Eli: "Check out faux bro, climbing Mount Grayson like it ain't no thang."
Move over Daniel, Nolan is Montauk's real poet.
2. Conrad tries to form a sentence: "We do what we do not for ourselves but for something beyond than ourselves."
Shhh, don't question it. Just pretend it makes sense.
1. Nolan wanders into Aiden's love shack: "So this is where Aiden-san waxes off."
We appreciate any and all Karate Kid references.