Just because people’s lives are involved, it doesn’t mean we can’t crack a few jokes! Revenge Season 2, Episode 17, “Victory,” was filled with wisecracks and lines that probably weren’t meant to be funny.
But they certainly left their mark, just like Eli James did to Emily’s foster mother. Boom. Roasted.
Here are the top quotes from last night’s episode:
1. Victoria preaches the truth: Though I don’t think I could forgive anyone who set fire to everything I cared about.
Victoria, you can’t forgive someone who shows up five minutes late to tea.
2. Meredith states the obvious: You are truly a Godsend Victoria.
Tell us something we don’t know.
3. Nolan chastises Aiden: You really should consider another line of work.
Yeah Aiden, professional sister hunting can’t go on a résumé.
4. Victoria offers a backhanded compliment: Conrad, for once I hate to say that I agree with you.
When Victoria’s hatred of you trumps her hatred of Conrad, be afraid. Be very afraid.
5. Padma reveals a shocking surprise: I can’t fly off somewhere and live the rest of my life without you. I love you.
What? Since when?!
6. Emily explains the ways of the world: When the Graysons put their resources to work, things happen very quickly.
Like dead bodies rolled up in pool house rugs.
7. Conrad praises Jack: Our very own Joe the Plumber!
More like Jack the Crazed Seaman!
8. Nolan gives Aiden a history lesson: I’m sorry to bother you Lee Harvey. I guess I just get a little nervous when I’m killing people.
American history references have no affect on snipers from across the pond!
9. Eli hopes for a miracle: Think you’ll ever forgive me?
Eli, don’t you know that this is not a story of forgiveness?
10. Mason reveals his hidden talent: My guess is you’re not referring to my recipe for brewing toilet prison wine.
The Barefoot Contessa, ladies and gentlemen!