Much like a giant lobster roll, this week's Revenge quotes were delicious, juicy, and smothered in mayonnaise (ok, that last part isn't true –– unfortunately). We've rounded up the top 10 doozies of the episode, so sit back, relax, and enjoy these fine delicacies with a side of Sperry Top Sider.  

10. Nolan: "Don’t you think it’s a little bit dangerous to be catnapping out in the open, or are you actually baiting the White-Haired Man-ibal Lecter to come for you?"
We appreciate any and all references to films from the early 90s.

9. Trey makes nice with Declan: "I didn’t know you had a boat in this marina."
Declan: "Yeah, it’s real easy to miss between the yachts."
#disgrunteledseamanhumor.
 
8. Nolan le sighs: "I don’t think my employees have any respect for me."
Emily: "Why would they, you’re not wearing pants."
Who needs pants when you have those legs?

7. Conrad real talks: "Sometimes I feel like Job, from the bible."
Sometimes we feel like Job from Arrested Development.

6. Ashley tells Connie that Daniel is suspicious: "Something about the numbers not adding up..."
Conrad: "Was he using a calculator or his fingers?"
Excuse us, we have to go write an offended poem.

5. Victoria makes Conrad an offer he can't refuse: "Hit me. This is your one and only shot, so do it like a man, if it's even possible."
Ugh, this is like Anastasia and Christian all over again, only without the body oil (we hope).

4. Victoria hears that Charlotte's going to be an aunt: "Oh god, don’t tell me that your brother impregnated Emily Thorne."
Sigh, if only. Their baby would be a God amongst men.  

3. Nolan reveals his deepest secret: "I once did a video interview with Katie Couric butt naked in my Jacuzzi."
Poor Katie hasn't been the same since.

2. Conrad greets Victoria: "So it’s true, even the devil himself didn’t want you."
She's too hot for Beelzebub to handle, obvs.


1. Amanda watches the news of Victoria's return: "Looks like the bitch is back."
Watch your language in front of that baby bump, girl.


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