Who else is currently spiraling into a pit of lobster-scented ennui due to the fact that Revenge isn't new for an entire week? Amanda's in the hospital, future POTUS Baby David is hanging out in the NICU, and Jack is currently crying into Declan's coif. Basically, our Revengey world is falling apart, and we need some comfort food, like, yesterday.

Luckily, we've dished up a hearty serving of delicious quotes from this week's episode for you to dig into!  

10. Conrad questions Victoria: "Is that worry I detect in your voice?"
Victoria: "Yes, it is. Worry that you’ll screw things up like everything else you lay your reptilian hands on."
We assume this is a reference to Conrad's crocodile leather driving gloves.

9. Nolan breaks into the Grayson security system: "Now you can monitor Boris and Natasha’s every move."
We always knew the Hamptons was located in central Pottsylvania!

8. Charlotte escorts her guests into the livingroom: "So, does anyone know any shower games?"
Random stripper: "Girl, do I."
Just saying, Victoria's banisters could easily double as a pole.
 
7. Padma chills with Nolan: "What can you tell me about a lawsuit Zingster.com brought against you in 2001?"
Nolan: "Ever hear of them?"
Padma: "No."
Nolan: "That’s because they lost. End of story."
Is it just us, or is Nolan extremely attractive this season? It's as if Justin Bieber made a baby with Mark Zuckerberg.

6. Victoria greets her nemesis: "Emily, I had no idea you were invited."
Emily: "Well, I am the baby's godmother, so…"
We're really worried about the godmother-ly advice Em's going to give Baby Carl David....

5. Random stripper horrifies Victoria: "Everyone at the club wanted to come, but Murray wouldn't let us take off at the same time."
Random guest: "And what kind of club is that?"
Victoria: "Not bridge, I can tell you that."
Unless "the bridge" is a stripper move we don't know about.

4. Padma checks out Nolan's trophy collection: "Who knew there was such a thing as competitive tetris?"
Nolan: "I made a petition to make it a demonstration sport at the '92 Olympics. We lost."
Brilliant idea: Olympics-themed episode of Revenge where everything takes place on ice.

3. Emily eye-rolls at Amanda: "Nice touch, bringing your girls from The Beaver Dam."
Um, most amazing stripper club name ever.

2. Nolan mocks the commoners: "Only luddites use snail mail."
Only nerds say ''snail mail.''

1. Victoria utters the most blue blooded sentence of her life: "Will you escort the ladies to the conservatory for petit fours and refreshments?"
By "petit fours" we assume she means small bites of doom and despair.


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