If you watched it and still feel like you have no idea what to expect next week, fear not. We’ve parsed through each millisecond of promo content and created a detailed analysis of what’s to come!
0:01 – Conrad Warns Us About 2012: The End of the World
While sitting next to a giant statue of a stallion. Nice job, props department.
0:02 – Daniel Is a Free Bird!
And we spy Emily by his side. Guess she decided to forgive and forget that whole domestic abuse incident.
0:03 – "Murderer" Is Spray-Painted on Daniel's Sweet Wheels
Don't worry — Danny Boy is shielded by his popped collar raincoat.
0:06 – Conrad's Face Emerges From the Fog
And then goes back from whence it came.
0:07 – Conrad Gives Daniel a Welcome Home Hug!
Someone should spray-paint "murderer" on this guy's forehead.
0:08 – Daniel Demands the Truth While Wearing a Chunky Sweater
Sigh, when will Daniel learn that the only person who listens to him is his diary.
0:09 – Daniel Stares at Himself in a Hilarious Burlesque-y Mirror
The only comfort he has is his own reflection.
0:10 – Emily Checks Out a Family Portrait
Baby Nolan, is that you?
0:11 – Crazy Lady With a Rifle Tries to Kill Emily
Set your stunna shades to "disarm," Em.
0:12 – Emily Pushes Nolan Up Against a Wall
Careful of the man-bangs, girl!
0:13 – Victoria Asks For "Full Immunity"
Uh Oh, is she finally ratting Grayson Global out to the SEC?
0:14 – People Wander Around Grayson Global's Headquarters With Boxes
Probably just packing up what remains of Conrad's dignity
0:15 – Giant Rubber Stamp Says "Deceased"
Just in case you're confused, someone died.
0:17 – Nolan Looks Pained, Probably Because He's Being Filmed In Black-And-White
Sigh, love it when the promo interns get creative with the cinematography.
0:18 – Charlotte Pushes Declan Up Against Some Lockers
Getting picked on for his floppy hair was an inevitability.
0:20 – Emily Threatens to Kill Someone
What else is new?