Recaps

Please grab the nearest available hemp necklace (a trip to 2006 may be necessary), put on some boat shoes, and slip into your favorite black hoodie. Revenge is upon us. Well, Revenge and binge-eating. This episode pretty much caused us to stress-eat our way through four containers of caviar, that's how good it was.

In other news, baby Carl David Porter continues to be way better than all...

You guys, Shakespeare would have such a huge crush on Emily Thorne. Dude was super into revenge (and giant, flouncy blouses), but he had it all wrong. Revenge isn't about confused friars and people named "Mercutio," it's all about passive aggressive lobster slayings and double infinity signs.

This week's episode of our favorite show triumphed in all kinds of revengey ways.
And bonus —...

Raise your hand if you spent Sunday night surrounded by emergency storm supplies –– aka flats of Perrier, hemp (with which to braid, obvs), labrador retriever puppies, and the dulcet tones of Revenge. Thought so. It might be hurricane season on the east coast, but summer is hotter than ever in the Hamptons, by which we mean even more people are hurling themselves off balconies...

You guys, tears. This week's ritualistic bout of Revenging was more than a little emotional, and our caviar is now salted with bodily fluids thanks to an especially traumatizing bout of ugly-crying. Yes, that's right — more townies are on the brink of death in the Hamptons, and as usual everyone's favorite vigilante is involved. Sigh, Emily. Being her friend is basically the kiss of...

The time has come to prison tattoo a double infinity sign on your forehead, and a quadruple infinity sign on your knuckles. Yes, Revenge is upon us, and this week we're finally getting a glimpse of what happened to Victoria Grayson on the fated night her plane blew up. You know, when she started squatting in that dubiously decorated hunting lodge? Good, taxidermied times.

Don't Stand So Close...