Credit: Randy Holmes/ABC

Like Law & Order: SVU before them, Scandal just ripped a page from the headlines and made themselves an Anthony Weiner episode. True, Huma Abedin never actually murdered any of her husband’s victims (thank God), and Weiner didn’t have a mole on his Redwood Johnson (I think), but the rest of Carlos Danger's story was all there.

But I’m burying the lede, here, because the real takeaway when you look at tonight’s episode is that Fitz very well may have killed people during Operation Remington.

Now, this hasn’t exactly been confirmed. All we know is that during the Gulf War, there was a top-secret, botched rescue mission and that its pilot, according to the records, was the recently deceased Peter Foster — only it was actually President Fitzgerald Grant. And Rowan Pope, using his ability to manipulate Huck, had Foster killed when he reared his ugly head last week. So all in all, it’s not looking good.

But let's start from the beginning, plot by plot, as “Say Hello to My Little Friend” (actual title) was a very plot-heavy episode, even for Scandal.

In A-Plot land, Jake was still crashing at Olivia’s, but her crippling paranoia and fear of her father was kind of ruining the mood. And so were statements from Jake like this one: “Your father would slit your throat and drink your blood if it served the republic.”

Ouch! So Liv kicked his ass to the curb, but her issues did not stop there. (Do they ever?) The Gladiators earned a major client in this Sexting Senator, though the jubilation was short-lived. It quickly became clear that their worthy opponent David Rosen — who is once again dating Abby — felt that they had made a very wrong decision.

Credit: Randy Holmes/ABC

It also quickly became clear that Rosen was likely right. He had a very scandalous lineup of witnesses — all former online flings of the senator’s, whose existence had been denied up until the moment they took the stand — quoting insta-classics like these: “Toilet. He wanted to take pictures of me on the toilet,” and ““Squeeze them until they hit you in the face. I don’t even know what that means.”

The tides briefly turned when Liv and her team shamelessly gave the murdered girl the same slut treatment they gave Jeannine Locke two weeks ago, but Gladiator victory was short-lived. Much like Weiner’s high-profile, mid-mayoral campaign faux pas last summer, the small-screen senator had been texting women throughout the duration of his freaking trial. Boys will be boys?

After this latest humiliation the senator’s wife, AKA Jan from The Office, essentially lost it. She ran away, and when Liv finally found her, she delivered this whammy of an emotionally resonant speech:

“I’m a partner at a law firm. And he has made me look like the weakest, most backwards anti-feminist this world as ever known. And that is not the poster child I am supposed to be. I am supposed to be a role model. A woman that my daughter can look up to, someone that she can admire.”

Olivia felt for her — and let’s be honest, that bit is basically tailor-made to affect Olivia, who struggles with similar feelings of feminist inadequacy — but also felt that it was Jan’s duty to testify on her husband’s behalf since she still swore that he was innocent. Her testimony, of course, was also pretty convincing — since the woman is a lawyer herself, she knew how to work that courtroom. When asked (by Rosen) if she loved her husband, she responded:

“No. You’ve heard the disgusting things he’s been doing. He’s a pig. Makes me sick. My husband has disgraced his office and dishonored our marriage. He’s a pervert, and a creep, and I hate him. I would love to see him go to jail for the rest of his life, but you don’t go jail for being a cheating, lying bastard, you go to jail for being a murderer. He’s not.”

This was enough to sway the jury, and after a brief chat with the senator himself — who admitted that, although he had not personally killed the dead girl, his wife had still lied for him — Olivia realized that she too had been swayed. Just in the completely wrong direction. Jan had been lying to protect her own ass, since she was the one who had killed the girl, thinking that there was only just the one.

Credit: Randy Holmes/ABC

Ah, well. Water under the bridge, right? But the fun doesn’t stop there. Let’s check out what’s happening over in B-Plot land…

Meanwhile, Huck was back to his old, murderous, recovering alcoholic-impersonating self after killing Foster last week. He spent much of the episode tailing Command and battling with the ever-meddling Quinn (who still has been given nothing to do this season), and eventually, with Ballard’s assistance, got (close to) the bottom of the Remington sitch.

Command, for his part, was on damage control with Cyrus after Fitz put together a flashy, heroic funeral for Foster at Arlington Cemetery.  Fitz was clearly shaken when he learned about Foster’s death — whatever happened in Iran that Foster was being paid to lie about wasn’t pretty — to the point where he arranged a clandestine meeting with his girlfriend’s daddy in the final moments of the episode. To be continued.

Olivia was finally clued in to the Fitz/Foster/Command connection by Huck and Ballard, who matched Foster’s tattoo — a series of numbers — to the missing flight plan from Remington. Olivia was shaken (and immediately hit the sweet red bottle), but Ballard soothed her soul with this comforting recap of the situation: ““You’re the daughter of the man that runs the top secret organization that made your friend kill a man for some reason having to do with your ex-boyfriend, the President.” Yeah, good luck with that.

Credit: Randy Holmes/ABC

Ready for more? Because oh yes, there’s a C-Plot

Tonight also featured the introduction of Phoebe Freaking Buffay herself, Lisa Kudrow, as Senator Josephnie Marcus (D-MT), a potential opponent for Fitz in the coming election. Marcus’ popularity has been growing lately, largely due to the fact that Fitz is an incredibly easy target. “I think it’s high time the man tames his cobra,” Marcus joked to her adoring crowd. So many dick jokes tonight!

Mellie then gave her husband’s reelection campaign an even bigger target, by breaking a rule that every musical theater kid learns in first grade — always make sure the body-mics are turned off. Mellie made a very poorly timed joke about Marcus and her voters being trailer trash, so Marcus was then able to play the role of “the bigger person” by publicly forgiving her on national television — and making lighthearted jokes, to boot: “Don’t knock a fried Twinkie till you’ve tried one!”

As for Mellie's perma-estranged husband... well, Fitz was too busy with this Remington mess to really care about his own reelection (and again, I really do think that he hates his job), so Cy took control by sending a young aide out to find some dirt on the supposedly squeaky-clean Marcus.

And guess what? They found some — Senator Marcus abandoned her baby. (Either that, or Rachel’s boss purchased it from her.) So there you have it. Things are about to get nasty. Marcus hasn’t interacted with any of our favorite Washingtonians yet, and given Kudrow’s innate awesomeness, I’m sure great things are yet to come. The Marcus/Mellie dynamic, if explored, should be an absolute joy to behold.

But enough with the metaphors. What did you think of the episode, Gladiators? Is Fitz really capable of murder? Will Olivia try to take down Jan from The Office? Why is Quinn? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!