Credit: Instagram

Today's the day, Bachelor Nation! Chill the champagne. Bring out the hors d'oeuvres. Plump the sofa cushions. Sean Lowe and Catherine Giudici are getting married tonight (January 26) and we're invited! Starting at 8 p.m. ET on ABC, SeanCat will celebrate their happily ever after in front of their closest friends, family, and Twitter followers. Don't try and catch the bouquet, though. That'll just end badly for your TV.

In case you need a refresher on the long and winding rose-strewn path we took to get here, we've compiled all kinds of details about Sean and Catherine. There's a relationship timeline if you need a play-by-play of their romance (who doesn't?) and a roundup of everything we know about tonight's main event (which is a lot, really).

We'll be tracking the whole two-hour shebang as it happens — including all the pre-filmed wedding prep and live ceremony action so be sure to check back as we dish about ABC's great big wedding. And keep us posted on how SeanCat's lovey-dovey ceremony makes you feel (the correct answer is: like Chris Harrison asked you to be his date to the wedding). The comments wait below if you want to ad lib your own vows and/or snark on certain bachelorettes' outfit choices.

It Begins!

Credit: ABC/Dave Hagerman

Here we are at the Four Seasons Biltmore in Santa Barbara, California. It's like a reunion of all our favorite (and not so favorite) members of Bachelor Nation. Leading the charge: Chris Harrison himself, looking dapper in a tux. 

Now begin the romantic flashbacks with Sean and Catherine showing us how they've been spending their past 14 months of celibacy. "Catherine's down for the adventure," Sean says of his beloved Cat as the two replay their summertime road trip. First stop: the Grand Canyon where Sean looks into the void and sees the rest of his life flash before his eyes.

Crafty lady that she is, Catherine takes the opportunity of Sean trapped in an overheated car on the road to Dallas to quiz him about wedding plans. Groom that he is, Sean says he's just excited about saying "I do" at the wedding (and maybe the latter part of the evening, too, are we right, Sean?).

At the end of their trip and officially in their new home city of Dallas, we see the separate residencies where Sean and Catherine lived out their last days as bachelor and bachelorette. So responsible. 

We don't linger in Texas for long, however. We're back at the Biltmore where harps play, guest mingle, and Chris plays the bride. "Catherine's getting ready for the most exciting day of her life," he says as we flash back to Dallas and Sean's family. They've finally picked a wedding date! 

Sean thanks his parents for providing him an example of what love looks like (minus the whole reality TV element). "The easiest thing in the whole wide world has been welcoming you into this family," Papa Lowe tells his future daughter-in-law. "You're so easy to love. We like you more than we like Sean!" Thanks, Dad!

Papa Lowe will be officiating the ceremony tonight so prepare for some more real talk about commitment and being "on that launchpad" to lifelong love. "You all are an easy subject to talk about," Daddy Lowebucks explains, as we nod our heads in full agreement.

After a terrific day on the ranch, the two head to a porch swing like the old married couple they're hoping to be. "We'll still be rocking years from now," says Sean, in yet another obvious reference to the afterparty the couple will be having this evening. #wegetit

Commence the Planning

In a break from the raging innuendo, we sit down with "wedding planner to the stars" Mindy Weiss. "You're in the bridal mode," Mindy tells a wide-eyed, hot pink wearing Cat.

The theme Catherine wants for her big day: grown sexy. "That's a new terminology," says Mindy, waving herself off because, boy, it's getting lukewarm in here (cue the Honeymoon Suite Cam feed). If we walk away with anything tonight, it'll be Mindy's piece of wisdom during her first consult with Catherine: Sometimes sex in your head is better than the real thing! Um, mood killer much?

After her fun-filled day of wedding planning and sex ed, Sean and Catherine perch on the side of yet another canyon (what is their fixation with high places?) and Catherine explains the concept of "grown sexy" to her fiancé. If any of you are playing a drinking game out there, we sincerely hope the word "sexy" was on your list because you be drinking.

Catherine Says "Yes" to a Dress

Speaking of drinking, it's time to check in at Santa Barbara. Catherine looks nervous as she gets ready while Chris Harrison doesn't sweat — ever. Fifty-eight days earlier, Catherine took her posse — maid of honor, mother, and future mother-in-law — to try on wedding dresses. Let's get our "Say Yes to the Dress" on!

First dress: fluffy. And pink. Catherine grabs her breasts in excitement while her mother, Cynthia, comments she wants the neckline higher (no wardrobe malfunctions on her watch). 

Second dress: Soft and romantic. Something about a trumpet silhouette. Does it hit the right note?

Third dress: Makes Catherine "feel like a woman." Grown sexy?

Fourth dress: Sparkly belt and Cynthia's feeling overwhelmed.

Catherine admits she's fallen in love with multiple dresses but to which will she give the final rose? Guess we'll have to stay tuned.

Sean Gets Sexy...Or At Least He Tries Really, Really Hard

Sean, meanwhile, heads to a lingerie store to pick out his own wedding gift (the Honeymoon Suite Cam returns like a bad dream!). Describing his wife-to-be as a "chesty" woman, Sean sticks to a "less is more" policy while the sales rep encourages him to not be "afraid to touch things." He just might be, lady. He just might be.

After bumbling around the store for a while (and getting a crash course in anatomy), Sean makes his picks and skips out of the store. "How many days are left?" he asks.

Cero, Sean! The guests are in place and the cameras are rolling as we get ready for the Big Moment. Current reigning Bachelor royal couple, Trista and Ryan Sutter, are in attendance as are Ashley and J.P Rosenbaum. There's also a tiny dog so yep, the gang's all here.

As the tension builds, we return to the wedding planning. Sean and Catherine return from a cake decorating expedition to talk about their future. "The kids" get mentioned four times in ten seconds and Sean pours Cat a drink (we're stressed, too). "I'm pretty sure you're going to accept my rose at the end of this one," says Sean. Is "rose" code for something else here?

Here's when Sean pulls out a gift from behind the couch and Catherine quickly catches on to what's inside the box. Giggling like a couple of middle schoolers, the two go through Sean's lacy picks and we, once again, discuss them "showcasing" their bodies to one another. Honeymoon Suite Cam, where you at?!

Catherine Talks Butterflies and Barnacles

Back from commercial break, and we flash to a pre-wedding pray circle around Sean. Catherine's in the other room, laughing herself into a fit (hormones do the craziest things). Hormones were also raging 29 days earlier when a handsy Sean and his lady went to check out their floral designs. No red roses in sight. Are we sure this is a Bachelor wedding?

From flowers to hair, a cowboy now enters the romance. We can't see his hair so we're kinda worried on Catherine's behalf. "Sexy is a good thing," Sir Cowboy (aka celebrity hairstylist José Eber) tells Cat. "Wow! Great hair. I love playing with it."

And Catherine. Well, Catherine likes playing with Sean's heart. She's shooting boudoir photos for her wedding gift to him. The photos, she explains, will be "just for the husband's eyes only" right before she flashes all of America as her robe slips down. (And Honeymoon Suite Cam is back!)

"I feel like a butterfly!" she explains to her friend about growing sexy for her hubby. Meanwhile, we've grown nauseous. (Chris, you don't help either with your "Sean, my friend, have a great night" comment.) 

Beautiful butterfly Catherine is just about set to fly free as Sean runs for the hills heads off camera to practice his lines. Five minutes remain, Chris tells us, as we go back in time to the couple checking out their wedding bands and trying  them on (that strike anyone else as bad luck?)

To ward off any pre-wedding bad mojo, Chris arrives to do his traditional checkin/we still have a show guys? "Obviously you don't need my approval," says Chris, blatantly lying. "It's such a dream," Cat replies. (By the by, this is all going down in the Honeymoon Suite.)

"I just can't see myself saying goodbye to her," Sean adds.

"I call myself 'his barnacle,'" adds Catherine in perhaps the most unromantic comparison we have yet to hear this evening.

Virginity comes up again because obviously. "Is it hard to deal with, particularly hard from a woman's standpoint?" Chris asks as we scratch our heads wondering what he means. "It doesn't affect me at all," she lies. What might effect her is Chris reemerging the morning after SeanCat become husband and wife. "He'll just be under the bed the whole time!" Cat says. Honey, don't give him any ideas.

We Interrupt This Ceremony...

Credit: Instagram

Now finally, with just 40 minutes left in the broadcast, the wedding begins. Two cellists (or, as Sean would have it, cello-ists) begin playing as Sean and Cat's obscenely large wedding parties head down the aisle. Cat's still getting suited up while Sean waits at the end of the aisle.

Three days later, we finally get to the part everyone's actually been waiting for: Catherine's debut as a bride. And...there's a commercial break.

Okay, okay we're back and Papa Lowe tell us to rise (DO IT!). The music gets jazzy with an elevator music version of MJ's "Human Nature," as Cat saunters down the aisle and reveals her pick of wedding dress (sparkly belt for the win!). The camera cuts to Sean's face, which is a mixture of awe, tears, and hubba-hubba. Cat kisses her parents goodbye and grabs Sean's hand.

Let's get to the vows. "It all began with a step from a limo," says Papa L, reminding us, just in case we forgot, that this is indeed a wedding brought to you by the Bachelor. Buzz words of the ceremony: union, responsibility, and, of course, journey. No one interrupts (Des must have gotten cold feet) and they say "I do."

Next, a not-so-silent moment of prayer that just happens to coincide with a commercial break.

With the all clear to continue with their intimate ceremony, Catherine and Sean share the vows they wrote for one another. Catherine continues with the questionable comparisons — he's the light to her bug, wants to blind their friends and family — while Sean goes for a, um, wetter approach. "I wanted more," he tells Cat, sniffling all the while. "You had me hooked." Their future children get mentioned again (they're there in spirit) and Catherine can't help but giggle as the rings get exchanged.

The Deed Is Done (Almost)

Credit: ABC (still)

AND THAT'S A WRAP. Catherine and Sean are officially man and wife! Mr. and Mrs. Sean Lowe head down the aisle and rose petal guns fire while Chris Harrison fixes his mascara. 

The happy couple head to a secluded, camera-ridden spot to kiss and figure out what's next on the ABC agenda. There's giggling. There's tears. There's closeups. 

"Sean and Catherine are now husband and wife," Chris tells us before we cut away to yet another commercial break. Just a few minutes remain on this cruise of love and the final touch will be first reactions from the patient wedding goers. 

Ashley and J.P. are up first (obviously) followed by Queen Trista. "I love welcoming more of the Bachelor Family into marital happiness," she says in the most perfect sound bite of the evening. And it's on that note that we sign off on this latest, greatest adventure. Oh and guys, guys! Don't forget there's a new Bachelor tomorrow night. Chris Harrison out.

Elisabeth Kramer is an Assistant Editor at Wetpaint Entertainment and our resident Downton Abbey expert. Follow her on Twitter and Google+!