Orange Is the New Black Season 2 Quotes: Best Quips From All 13 Episodes
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Orange is the New Black

Orange Is the New Black Season 2 Quotes: Best Quips From All 13 Episodes

Orange Is the New Black is one of the most quotable shows on TV (er, on virtual TV), as Season 2 proved beyond a doubt. In fact, this season was so overflowing with memorable lines that we can't possibly claim to have caught them all, but we have done our best to select some of the best for your reading pleasure.

So here we have it: Wetpaint Entertainment's pick for 20 of the best lines from Orange Is the New Black Season 2.

1. Piper on the relative nature of crimes: "Oh, he's a hit man? I thought he was a rapist. I'm so relieved!"

2. Larry's dad on Piper: "You live on a slippery slope, kid, and for some reason you can't stop doing rain dances."

3. Vee on young Taystee: "Your ass tells me you know pie."

4. Red, "complimenting" her son: "I have a good son. Not great, but pretty good."

5. Black Cindy on Piper: "Oh s—t, she is risen."

6. Piper on Alex: "Alex Vause was never the lamb. She is the wolf that eats the lamb"

7. Black Cindy to Vee: "Bitch, if grateful payed the bills, we'd all be Bill Gates."

8. Nicky on who would steal a wedding date: "Someone who doesn't get excited by the wedding industrial complex and society's bullshit need to infantilize grown women."

9. Gloria on keeping expectations realistic: "Yeah, well, I'd give my left tit for a piña colada and a smoke, but you don't see that on the menu, right?

10. Piper tells it like it is: "No Soso, I don't know. No one has a f—king clue what you are talking about, ever."

11. Piper gets nasty: "I am a lone wolf Brook, and a vicious one. Don't make me rip your throat out with my teeth."

12. Nicky on her, er, giving nature: "I am like a bean flicking Mother Teresa."

13. Piper, pointing out the obvious: "What is not appropriate? I am an adult who is in prison, I can handle things."

14. Leanne takes on Pennsatucky: "You've been lording over this group like some Hillary Clinton dictator, and we want to be a democracy."

15. Poussey on dietary restrictions: "A cow breaks me out of here, I stop eating meat that day."

16. Healy on furlough: "Furlough is like the Loch Ness Monster. Much discussed but barely seen."

17. Fig on the rules. "Right now, looking in an arbitrary direction I see large earrings. I see unapproved makeup. Am I the only one who sees this? Do I have super vision? Am I like the boy in The Sixth Sense who sees infractions no one else sees?"

18. Black Cindy on remembering bad things: "I remember the Alamo, too, but that don't keep me from eating Mexican food."

19. Pete on alcoholism: "I'm not an alcoholic, I'm Australian."

20. Red on murder: "You want to assassinate someone? Vision is a basic requirement. It's like, Step 1, pick the person to kill. Step 2, kill that person."

What was your favorite line of the season? Let us know in the comments below!

06.9.2014 / 12:00 AM EDT by Rebecca Martin
Related: Orange is the New Black, Features, Quotes, OITNB Season 2

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