The Bachelor 2014 Spoilers: A Complete Analysis of Juan Pablo’s Season 18 Promos
Credit: Craig Sjodin/ABC    

The Bachelor

The Bachelor 2014 Spoilers: A Complete Analysis of Juan Pablo’s Season 18 Promos

In late November, our lives changed forever when the first two videos of Juan Pablo Galavis and his ladies were released. As we’ve all been furiously repeating night after night, we’re just a little over a month away from seeing The Bachelor 2014’s January 5 and 6 kick off, but that doesn’t make us any less eager to talk about the 27 hunnies who will be sidling up Juan-side when this thing gets underway.

In preparation for the almost certain jealousy blackout that will ensue the moment he kisses someone who isn’t us (Even after we had forsaken all other Bachelor-shaped body pillows), we’ve gone ahead and ripped part of the bandage off. So here, for your viewing “pleasure” is a breakdown of all the ladies who have been deemed worthy to bask in JPG’s Venezuelan glow, and all the moments shown of Juan in his new place as TV star.

Promo #1: Meet the Ladies

0:05 - 0:06 Arrivals
Juan Pablo steps out, then a series of girls, too quick to catch a snap of: the girl in the dark purple is Lacy Faddoul, the headbanded gal is Lucy Aragon, the yellow dress is Victoria Lima.

0:06 - 0:07 Lots of Dates
Juan Pablo charmingly dangles spaghetti into his mouth while a girl looks on, dog in her lap. Though we know Kelly Travis brought her dog to the mansion, that ain’t her. Lady and the Tramp themed date, maybe?

A shot of Juan Pablo at the Electric Run in Salt Lake City, on the second 1-on-1 of the season, where he took Kat Hurd to a neon time.

Next, the first Juan-on-Juan, at a “winter wonderland,” sledding down an intern-made hill with Clare Crawley.

Lastly, a quick peek of him in a sultry embrace with 22-year-old Cassandra Ferguson, at his house in LA.

0:11 - 0:16 Some Disasters
Clare gets out of the limo with a “baby bump” but guess what, guys, it’s fake! LOLOLOLOL

Then, Victoria is seen being super drunk in an elevator and then a bathroom, first with a producer comforting her, then with Renee Oteri hanging tough. And is that Lauren Higginson crying after being eliminated on night one?

0:16 - 0:18 Obligatory Ab Shots
‘Nuff said. But that looks like Amy Jokinen declaring him to be “hottt” (it sounded like four T’s to us…).

0:19 - 0:21 More Arrivals
That’s Nikki Ferrell in the black shimmery dress, then Kylie Lewis and her double hand waves, followed by Maggie Gantt, and then Alli Restko dribbling a soccer ball, and Andi Dorfman looking stunning in a plunging neck dress.

0:22 - 0:26 More Juan Pablo Adorable Stuff
Juan Pablo and his daughter Camila drawing hearts in the sand, JPG running shirtless on the beach, and us dying.

0:27 Kylie is also dying
“Oh my God I’m gonna die.” We’re with you, girl.

Promo #2: Who-an Pah-blo? Juannnn Pabbbblo

The whole thing is pretty much just an ode to Juan Pablo, which is just spiffy, featuring many of the same shots from the other promo. Some girls that weren’t in the first one: Chelsie Webster (0:07) and Chantel Forrest (0:07) saying his name, Val Eredia shooting an arrow (0:13).

Thanks to Reality Steve for the help on season details! Check out the rest of Juan Pablo’s crop over here and tune in on January 5 and 6 to see it all play out!

Julia Wayne is an Editor at Wetpaint Entertainment. Follow her on Twitter and Google+!