Ladies, welcome to the worst day of your entire life. Otherwise known as the day you found out that Gary Shirley has a girlfriend. We know, tears. Tears all over your Pink by Victoria's Secret hoodie.
As far as we were concerned, Gary's been single and ready to mingle since his baby mama, Amber Portwood, voluntarily entered the slammer. How wrong we were.
"Love everything my girlfriend does for me!" Gary tweeted to no one in particular on June 9, causing our hearts to break in the process.
Um, did anyone else think we were Gary's girlfriend, or was that just our own personal delusion? Either way, Gary's new lady love is a total mystery. This is the first time our favorite watermelon farmer has mentioned dating someone other than Amber, and you'd never know he had a gal pal from his tweets. Mostly because dude is too busy writing things like:
"Did you know when a baby laughs for the first time it turns into a fairy?" and "What if Gandolf is Moses?"
Sigh, we can't pretend we aren't hurt. And lord knows how poor Amber is feeling in jail. Thank God for her prison bestie named Sugarfoot, right guys?
How do you feel about Gary's new mystery gal? Let's just hope she appreciates this sweetheart's fabulousness … and his inexplicable love for agriculture.