Recap of Teen Mom 2 Season 4 Episode 4 (March 11, 2013)

Credit: MTV Photo: Chelsea Houska in Teen Mom 2 Season 4

Remember a few weeks ago when Chelsea Houska made sweet hillbilly love to her baby daddy, Adam Lind? Clearly she couldn't resist the siren call of his soul patch, and she decided it was probably a good idea to let his man parts have free reign all over her hot self without protection. Yep, Chelsea thought she was knocked up — but fear not! Girlfriend got her period, or in the words of Clueless, she's surfing the crimson wave.

 
Now that Chelsea isn't carrying the heir to Adam's studly throne, she decides to come clean to her mom about their rendez-do. To quote: "When she [Aubree] went to bed, we went to bed." Poetry, guys.
 
Naturally, Chelsea's mom is completely horrified by this sordid tale of unprotected sex, and convinces Chelsea to go on birth control. So, what does she do? She heads over to the gynecologist, wraps herself up in a pink hospital gown, and gets the Mirena re-inserted into her lady parts. Hopefully this time it won't fall out! The bad news? Chelsea has to move out of her apartment, which causes her to spiral into a fit of ugly-crying. By which we mean gorgeous-crying. Wasn't it just a few weeks ago that this gal moved in? Get your act together, Sioux Falls!
 
Also, in case you're wondering, Chelsea is killing it in beauty school. Though she has no idea how to pronounce the word "chamomile," because apparently she doesn't drink as much tea as us nerds who go to bed at nine o'clock do.