Gary Shirley Twitter Madness: "To Understand the Future You Have to Go Gary Time" and More Best Tweets of the Week

Oh, Gary Shirley. Teen Mom's most lovable baby daddy steals our hearts on a daily basis with his philosophical musings about aliens, government conspiracies, and feet, and we've rounded up his 7 best tweets of the week. These bad boys are sure to give you an Uggasm.

1. Gary gives us a grammer lesson: "Obviously break is like lunch. Brake is like I hit the brakes to avoid Lil idiots in the street."

Good to know Gary is looking out for the 'lil idiots in his hood.

2. Gary treats himself: "I spent $50 at bath and body for myself. #nojoke feet feel awesome right now. Now I know why it's great gift material."

This is amazing. No further comment necessary.

3. Gary dishes his biggest fear: "Hate dolls. Scary sh**."

Leah's collection of Barbies are plotting his demise right now.

4. Gary educates us on time travel: "To understand the future you have to go Gary Time."

All our clocks are set to Gary Time, let's be real.

5. Gary glitter-bombs: "I'm bout to throw some glitter for reelz... Always making it rain..........!!!"

Don't really understand this, but our love for glitter knows no bounds.

6. Gary becomes paranoid: "If something happens to me it's because the Govt. is trying to keep me quiet cause I stumbled on to their secrets."

Duly noted, Gary.

7. Gary real-talks about aliens: "I believe there is life out there. Beyond us. Extraterrestrial life forms. The kind that don't phone home."

Otherwise known as Kieffer Delp.