full size Gary Shirley Tweets a Silly Picture on September 4, 2012
Credit: Twitter

OMG, guys! Things are happening, and all of them are amazing! In case you missed last week's jaw-dropping news, our favorite organic farmer, Gary Shirley, lost the use of his legs after a mysterious accident. 

"For 2 weeks coming I'm taking the role of a man who can't use his legs," Gary tweeted. "This is a forced new years resolution. I take this on w pride & pain."

We've been losing sleep over Gary's leg-tastrophe, but he's finally come clean about what caused this tragic event to happen. A freak club accident while doing an innovative dance move called The Electric Slip. "Still bringing the new year in w this god awful knee pain from slipping on the floor @ the club," Gary tweeted on January 8th. "Twisted it bad hurts mostly when bending it."

Everyone pray for Gary. "The Club" can be a sinister place –– completely unsuitable for delicate watermelon planters. Please, Gary, in the future stick to doing what you do best: shouting "It's Gary Time!" at people and roasting enormous pork shoulders.