Recap of Teen Mom 2 Season 4 Finale (April 29, 2013)

Credit: MTV

The time has come to slip into your fanciest camouflage ball gown (what, you don't own one? What is wrong with you?) because Kailyn Lowry and Javi Marroquin's wedding is upon us! Sure, these two have only been dating for, like, five minutes — but they love each other even more than we love pizza.

Oh, and we can't forget the fact that Javi's joining the Air Force, which means he and Kailyn will get major benefits as man and wife!

This hot couple decide to put a ring on it before Javi leaves for boot camp in Texas, so they head over to the courthouse and say their "I dos" while we sob hysterically. Real talk, guys: Kailyn has never looked more beautiful, and don't even get us started on Javi's hilarious pencil thin mustache. Flawless facial hair!

Unfortunately, Kailyn and her new hubby only have a few days together as man and wife before Javi peaces out to Texas, and their separation is more than a little emotional. Let's just say Javi cries only slightly more than we do. And we basically looked like this.

So, how does Kailyn's baby daddy, Jo Rivera, feel about her nuptials? Not good, guys. Not good. This rapper tries to be supportive of his baby mama, but we can see the pain in his eyes. And in his chintee. Which is over an inch long. Looks like these two will have to head to court for custody, but who knows? Maybe they'll be civil this time 'round!