Recap of Teen Mom 2 Season 4, Episode 5 (March 18, 2013)

Credit: STILL

Jenelle Evans's wayward boyfriend, Kieffer Delp, has taught us so many life lessons over the years. Like, mooning people in public is socially acceptable, humans can also be considered "swamp creatures," and — most importantly — us ladies should embrace our "little tits." Because Kieffer loves us for who we are, sob!


 

Tragically, Jenelle isn't ready to listen to her man's life lessons, and she's all about enhancing her lovely lady lumps. Yep, this gal goes under the knife and increases her cup size from an A to a C, and she's in so much pain that she's just, like, wandering around the house crying and trying not to let her thong fall out of her sweatpants. Basically, she's a hot mess, and utters the brilliant musing "I took a muscle relaxer they gave me, and I guess it relaxed all my muscles." Real talk, girl.


 

Unfortunately, Kieffer isn't being very supportive of Jenelle's breasticles (too busy working on his hand-carved wood pipes, duh), and he flies into a rage when Jenelle's ex gal-pal, Gary Head, sends her a gorgeous bouquet of "Get Well Soon" roses. Naturally, Jenelle kicks Keef and his reefs out of the house, and it looks like she's ready to reignite the spark with Gary! Hopefully he'll appreciate her ample assets more than Kieffer "Itty Bitty Titty" Delp.


 Oh, and in other news Jenelle has a new pet lizard named Yoshi, and we're so worried.