Recap of Teen Mom 2 Season 4, Episode 2 (February 25, 2013)

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We're so terrified right now. Terrified that Jenelle Evans is going to come through the television screen and bitch-slap the popcorn out of our hands, because guys? Girlfriend is in a rage.
 
Remember last week's Season 4 premiere, when Jenelle introduced the world to Gary Head and it was all so beautiful and magical like a flock of unicorns prancing around Planet Fun? Well, times have changed, y'all. This week, Jenelle is shocked to learn that Gary slept with her best friend, Tori Rhyne, and she basically flies into a hair-flipping tizzy.

Here's what goes down: Gary and Jenelle head to breakfast where Gary eats grits with a knife (so many questions) and gets jealous because Kieffer Delp won't stop harassing Jenelle. Then Gary heads off to his military base and Jenelle gets a mysterious phone call from her best friend Tori, who announces that she slept with Gary a few hours before he started dating Jenelle. Oh no he did not.

As you might expect, Jenelle spirals into a fit of sads and breaks up with Gary, which is pretty tragic considering that he was ready to pop the question. Oh, and then Jenelle throws Gary out and breaks into a crying jag. In the words of this beautiful muse, "So much s— is running through my head that it's gonna be ridiculous."

In other news, Barbara Evans has a new house, by which we mean CHAMBER OF SECRETS. Let's just hope this lady finally got a room to store all her Franzia, because she totally deserves it.