Get ready to weep hysterically into a bag of cheese puffs. All our worst nightmares are coming true, and we’re not just talking about the fact that Uggs have joined forces with Polyester in a plot to take over the dirty south.
This week on Teen Mom 2, we learned that our favorite couple, Leah and Corey, are kind of, sort of, maybe are separating — and to top it off, Jenelle gets sentenced to a year in probation, Adam still hasn’t called Chelsea, and Kailyn gets caught in a love triangle.
Just your typical teenage problems ...
We’re still Team Leah, but the events of this week have us re-considering our allegiance. That’s right: We’re Team LOVE!
The heartbreaking drama begins when Leah asks her parents for help looking for a mobile home despite the fact that Corey doesn’t want to move. Clearly, Corey’s upset that his lady threw shade, so he drops the eff bomb a few times and claims they rushed into marriage. Poor Leah ends up sobbing on the stoop of her trailer home while we ugly-cry right there with her.
Leah’s worried that Corey’s holding something back (secrets, secrets are no fun), and she’s even more worried when her parents tell her that they’ve found a place for her to live.
After a confusing conversation, Leah tells her parents to buy the land with Corey’s permission, but then he refuses to move with her.
Sigh, it looks like these two lovebirds might finally go their separate ways. Time to buy a pair of black Uggs, because we are officially in mourning.
Time to take a trip to Chelsea-ville, where small dogs roam freely and broken hearts litter the leopard print rug!
Poor Chel-Chel is still devastated about her breakup with Adam, but this week she’s moving on up — with the help of giant balloon head-gear.
Chelsea’s all about keeping busy, so she decides to go on the March of Dimes walk, which benefits premature babies like Aubree! Naturally, said march involves raising money, so Chelsea heads to Year Round Brown to recruit some dolla dolla bills.
After rounding up a few more baby mamas, Chelsea and the gang make festive T-shirts for their march, which involve “violet and fuchsia” tie-dye. Shudder.
Chelsea caps off a great episode by raising over $500 for charity, and wanders around the mall with an enormous balloon hat attached to her head. Who needs boys when you have girl power? Get it, Chels!
Kailyn’s desperate to get this whole child support battle behind her, but her court date is postponed by Jo’s lawyer.
The plus side? Jo has to pay the full monthly amount until the hearing! Basically, Kail’s got money over everything, money on her mind!
Meanwhile, Jo wants to meet Jordan to make sure he’s not a “crackhead” (his words), and we smell trouble. Need we remind you about how Jordan reacted when Kailyn tried to talk to him about sex? Commence the mumbling.
When Kail drops the bomb that Jo’s going to visit them at the apartment, Jordan spirals down into a fit of contemplative silence and then says “awkward” in the most high-pitched voice ever.
Not so surprisingly, he pouts during most of Jo’s visit, and Jo comes off as completely grown up and mature (swoon?).
In other news, it looks like Jo has a new twitter girlfriend, so Kail brings her up in totally flirty-flirty way while Jordan strokes his chintee in a fit of depression. Love triangle alert!
It’s a big week for our girl Jenelley! First, she moves back into her mom’s house (welcome back, Bahbahrah), and then she and Kieffer have a hearing for their breaking-and-entering charges!
Let’s just say it doesn’t go as well as planned. Even though Jenelle’s lawyer hopes that Kieffer will take the fall, poor Jenelle is served with 12 months probation, and Kieffer walks away a “scotch”-free man. Hey, The Delp’s gotta go what The Delp’s gotta do.
Jenelle has a total mental breakdown because she can’t smoke pot or be around anyone who parties — which pretty much means the only person she can hang out with is Jace.
But let’s talk about what’s important. The fact that Kieffer is wearing a bright orange polo shirt and seems to have cut his hair for the occasion. Somewhere, a green hoodie is crying.