It’s that time of the week again, y’all. Teen Mom 2 is upon us, so we suggest you grab the largest pair of sweatpants you can find, clip some polyester hair onto your head and slap on some lip-smackers, because ish is about to get realer than real.
Yep, we have a double break-up on our hands!
Feel free to send us photos of yourself ugly-crying in front of the computer screen — we’re right there with you.
The day we’ve been dreading is finally upon us: The relationship between Corey “Coal Miner” Simms and his child-bride, Leah Messer, is crumbling! Bring on the double-stuffed Oreos and waterproof mascara.
The dramz starts when Corey uses Leah’s hard-earned money to buy himself a yellow truck — money that could have been spent on a good ol’ fashioned trailer home and plot of land.
Honestly, we don’t know what Corey was thinking by passing up an opportunity to live in a house with wheels, but whatever. He just does what the camo hat tells him to.
Leah’s peeved that Corey won’t buy a house (after all, she spends her days washing the twins in a spider-filled basement), and she heads to lunch with her parents for some advice.
They suggest that Leah put up a fight, so she gives Corey an ultimatum: Move into a new home, or live in the old one by himself.
Sob, next stop, Splitsville Station!
Remember last week when Jenelle moved in with her friend Tori and reunited with Kieffer’s patchouli-drenched green hoodie? Sigh, good, greasy times. Too bad they couldn’t last.
Kieffer’s been talking to his ex-girlfriend behind Jenelle’s back, so Jenelle flips out and drives him to the middle of nowhere so he can wander down the street like the homeless grifter that he is. Lovin’ that neck hickey, Kieffer!
All this Delp Drama is putting stress on Jenelley’s living situation, so she decides to move out. But instead of talking about her problems like an adult, Jenelle gets into a huge fight with Tori — complete with hair-pulling, screaming, and writhing around on the ground half-shirtless. Keepin’ it classy per usual, ladies!
In less Delperific news, Jenelle takes on some responsibility and agrees to pay her mom thirty bucks a week in child support for Jace.
We chalk up this mature behaviour to the power of Babs' turtleneck and baseball hat combo.
Guess what Chelsea and Adam do this week? Hint: It doesn’t involve making sweet love while watching Tears of the Sun.
After years of make-ups and break-ups, these lovebirds end their relationship again — but don’t worry, it’s only a matter of time before they get back together.
Until then Chelsea can work on dying her skin the color of Tang at Year Round Brown. Who knows, maybe she’ll even meet a hunky baby daddy in the tanning booth!
Before her first day of work, Chelsea heads to her mom’s house for a shoulder to cry on, and she explains that Adam was “miserable” while he was with her.
Turns out Adam broke up with Chelsea over the phone, which we guess deserves a high five only because it’s one step above a text and two steps above Twitter.
Sigh, we hate to see Chelsea so down and out. Love you, girl!
Last week, Jo warned Kailyn that he was going to appeal his child support payments, and it looks like he’s following through.
Kail is shocked when she gets a copy of Jo’s appeal note, which is pretty harsh and judgemental towards her. Here come the waterworks!
Meanwhile, Jordan comes over to Kailyn’s house wearing the craziest geometric hoodie ever, and frankly we’re shocked that she’s able to have a serious conversation with him.
After a few tears, they decide that Kailyn should retain a lawyer to help with her child support battle — that way she’ll have a better chance of beating Jo’s appeal.
Watch out, Jo: Kail is armed, dangerous, and ready to fight it out in the courtroom!