Teen Mom

No one loves body ink more than the ladies of Teen Mom. Wait, actually that’s a lie. No one loves body ink more than the baby daddies of Teen Mom.

Amber Portwood, Maci Bookout, Catelynn Lowell and their sperminators Gary Shirley, Ryan Edwards and Tyler Baltierra are sporting some serious ink on their skin, most of which are totally baller.

We’ve rounded up pics of their sexy tats — and warning: This collection of body art may cause you to run in fear next time you come across a tattoo parlour.

Maci has almost as much ink as Kat Von D! Most noticable is the giant piece of notebook paper tatted on her back with “Bookout” written across it in cupcakes. Yes, it’s just as amazing as it sounds.

Maci also has “bulletproof” written on her shoulder, “learn to feel” written on the left side of her back, and her son’s name “Bentley Cadence” written on her lower back.

In other, super-awkward news, Maci has the initials M and R scrawled on her arm. One guess as to who the “R” stands for ....

Maci’s sexy baby daddy is almost as inked-up as his ex! Ryan has a crisscrossed set of racing flags on his shoulder (this guy loves his four wheelers), and a giant tattoo of his son’s name on his ribs — with angel wings coming out of the letter “B.”

Because otherwise the tattoo would just be stupid.  

Oh, Amber. How could we possibly forget the giant blow-up image Amber has of her daughter Leah’s face on her stomach?

It’s the most frightening work of art in tattoo history, and reportedly caused Amber a huge amount of pain.

Sigh, at least this girl has someone to talk to in prison while she’s not too busy having toilet water thrown on her.

If you thought Amber’s tattoo was bad (read: amazing), you ain’t seen nothing yet. Amber’s baby daddy and on-again-off-again boyfriend, Gary Shirley, inked his sweetheart’s name on his body, only to immediately regret it after they broke up.

(Don’t worry buddy, we’ll never regret our “It’s Gary Time” tattoo!)

Luckily, Gary has another enormous tattoo to distract himself from Amber’s name: Some strange star that he inked right smack in the middle of his hairy chest. Swoon!

Like her fellow Teen Moms, Catelynn felt the need to get her daughter Carly’s name tattooed on her bod.

Catelynn gave Carly up for adoption, so it’s understandable that she’d want a constant reminder of her daughter, but we’re not sure we’re on board with the bright pink baby foot print. There is such a thing as too hot to handle, Catelynn.

In other news, Cate also has a her astrological sign (Pisces) tattooed on her neck, you know — just in case she forgets what month she was born in.

Catelynn’s baby daddy and fiance, Tyler Baltierra, is no stranger to the tortures of podunk tattoo parlours.

He has what can only be described as an enormous bat-symbol on his back with his last name tattooed on the inside of the wings, and an image on his daughter’s handprint inked right in the middle of his hair-less stomach.

Aw, we love that Ty is such a family man. Can you tell that he’s our favorite teen dad?