This week’s double episode of Teen Mom left us with twice the amount of inspirational LOL-worthy quotes!
In other words, more Kieffer Delp word-vomit than ever. Check out the 10 greatest quotes of the night, and try to imagine them in a slow Southern drawl.
10. Jenelle makes excuses for Kieffer: “It’s not like you beat me up or anything like that. You know, you just shoved me out of the way.”
Tell that to Kieffer’s probation officer, Jenelle.
9. Chelsea real talks about her hair: “I used to be blonde before I got pregnant.”
Pregnancy: Only for brunettes.
8. Kieffer ponders his love for Jenelle: “One second we’re like, 'I love you so much.' The next second we can just both be like, f**k you.”
A big ol’ eff you definitely means love.
7. Barbara theorizes about The Delp’s fate: “Keefuh’s done.”
Couldn’t have said it better ourselves, Babs!
6. Barbara gives Jenelle a warning: “Whatever you do, Jenelle, don’t lie about smoking the weed, man.”
Just some typical motherly advice.
5. Kailyn’s friend brings her a sweet treat: “I brought you something to make you feel better: M&M sundaes!”
What, no Big Mac? Fail.
4. Kieffer breaks up with Jenelle: “You really going to get all cocky and just piss me off beyond recognition?”
Sigh, we love it when Kieffer decides to talk.
3. Kailyn calls a salvage yard: “Hi, is this like, um, a junkyard, or like a place that takes cars?”
What is this sentence?
2. Jordan jokes with Kailyn: “I chauffeur your ass around all the time.”
Aw, these two are the cutest?
1. Leah’s mom chats about the good old days: “Do you know how I got you to walk? Cheese puffs.”
We learned to walk with a combination of Cheese Wizz and Queso Sauce.