Season 17’s Sarah Herron has a pretty good idea of what to look for at Bachelor Mansion. Girlfriend fought hard for Sean Lowe, knows Bachelorette Desiree Hartsock, and likely has some sense of what “the right reasons” really are. Although Episode 2 left Sarah hoping for more — amen, sistah — she had her top picks and we got the deets.

Total Creep

We all had to dig deep to get through the group date (not your fault, Soulja Boy) but Sarah pretty much hated Zak Waddell’s attempt to be sweet, according to her blog. “This would be a very kind gesture if I wasn’t sure Zak trained his penis to hold a pen and write the message inscribed." Talk about a party trick.

Pass the Cheese

Newsflash: Bryden Vukasin has never had brie. We’re guessing the vet’s more an American cheese kinda guy, but is he as down home as he seems? Sarah thinks so “I’m pretty sure he’s the only guy not trying to pursue Hollyweird — he seems 1,000,000% legit’ — but we’re not so sure.

To be honest, Bryden’s a bit oblivious for our tastes. Like when he was sitting in a hot tub with Des in a bikini and the awkwardness was The Worst until Des finally just told him to kiss her. Yay, remember that?

Didn’t Deserve a Rose

Sarah’s siding with the guys in the Mansion: Ben Scott’s got to go. Despite seeming like a good dad to his adorable son, Ben reminds her of another “possessive and psychotic” contestant: Tierra LiCausi. Way harsh, Sarah.

But was Tierra disliked even this early on? Sarah can’t recall, Ben’s cold sore was so distracting. “Remember this future suitors: Des KISSED that!” We don’t think they noticed.

Show Me More, Show Me More

Next week Sarah wants more “nice, young Jewish Zack [Kalter],” a little Dan Cox, and, believe it or not, Kasey Stewart (aka Mr. Hashtag). Not sure if Des will listen but we’re all ears.

Source: Sarah Herron’s blog