Credit: Instagram

We get it: You’re filling out a survey, probably half-drunk on wine coolers, and you think something is funny or deep, so you write it down. Fast forward six months, and your bio for The Bachelor 2014 hits ABC.com, and suddenly? Uh, not that hilarious — to you, at least. But lucky for us, the 27 ladies of Juan Pablo Galavis’s Season 18 have given us plenty of material to play with.

Because there are so many questions and so many contestants, we’ve done the hard work for you, combing through the bios to find the most ridiculous, hilarious, and downright WTFable moments in the new group. You’re welcome.

Credit: Craig Sjodin/ABC Television Group © 2013 Disney Photo: Lauren Solomon on The Bachelor 2014

17. Christy Hansen is this precise about everything, OK?
Time it takes to get ready for a big night: 1 hr and 20 min.

16. We’re concerned that Chantel Forrest doesn’t really know what romance means
What U.S. city is the most romantic to you and why?
Miami; I was born and raised in Miami and family that is closest to me lives there.

15. Lauren Solomon is like a living Katherine Heigl movie
Where do you see yourself in five years?
Hopefully more fulfilled with my career and my own business, but more importantly, married with kids! I have baby fever and I'm single — looking to settle down within the next five.

14. Just wait until ABC throws you out of a plane, Maggie Gantt. #BringExtraUndies
What's the most outrageous thing you've ever done?
Flying out here by myself! I'd never flown!

Credit: Craig Sjodin/ABC Television Group © 2013 Disney Photo: Lucy Aragon on The Bachelor 2014

13. Gosh, we never would’ve guessed that Elise Mosca is a pageant girl...
What do you do for a living and how important is your career to you?
I am a first grade teacher. My career is extremely important! To make a difference in a life of a child is my passion. The children are our future.

12. It’s not that Lucy Aragon didn’t understand the question, it’s just not her style to answer such banal queries
Occupation: Free Spirit

11. Geeze, Clare Crawley, you couldn’t just say Jennifer Lawrence? Now we feel shallow.
Who do you admire the most in the world and why?
I admire the nobodies of the world that lead selfless lives. The ones you don't hear gloating about their accomplishments.

10. Dobby the House Elf and Sharleen Joynt have a lot in common.
What is your most embarrassing moment?
Every time an audience applauds and I'm not happy with how I did. I can't help but squirm from feeling undeserving.

Credit: Craig Sjodin/ABC Television Group © 2013 Disney Photo: Nikki Ferrell on The Bachelor 2014

9. We’re pretty sure Kelly Travis has an actual job, but we’d like to apply for this one, too.
Occupation: Dog Lover

8. At least Cassandra Ferguson has low expectations.
I love it when my date: Holds my hand
I hate it when my date: Doesn't hold my hand

7. We’re worried about Amy Long and Ashley Poe. Especially since Ash is a teacher…
Favorite Author: Dr. Seuss

6. Chelsie Webster loves a sexy, healthy pancreas
What does your ideal mate look like?
I'm not overly particular. I do prefer them to be taller than me (which isn't hard), I like a nice smile and kind eyes. Other than that, it's the insides that count most.

5. Well, Nikki Ferrell, a “Peony Ceremony” just doesn’t sound right on network television...
What is your favorite flower?
Am I supposed to say roses? My favorites are peonies or orchids.

Credit: Craig Sjodin/ABC Television Group © 2013 Disney Photo: Clare Crawley on The Bachelor 2014

4. Could we get a violin cleanup on Aisle 3? Clare just made them all jump.
What is the best trip you have ever been on and why?
I have never taken a vacation. I've always worked my buns off and never made time. Plus, I was never in a relationship that I could go on a vacation with.

3. Nikki is clearly a girl after our own heart
Preferred type of dancing: Is drunk dancing a type?

2. ABC isn’t ready for Lucy Aragon’s jelly.
What's the most outrageous thing you've ever done?
Once I organized a 50-person, fully nude dance party on a beach in Mexico.

1. Clare, we love you, but you’re bringing us down.
Do you consider yourself a romantic if so why?
I've never been one to be romantic. It's hard for me because I've never experienced romance. I wish I was.

Which girl's response made you laugh out loud? Tell us below! 

Julia Wayne is an Editor at Wetpaint Entertainment. Follow her on Twitter and Google+!