Credit: Twitter Photo: Victoria Hates Life in Season 18 Episode 2

Even the classiest man in Bachelor Nation, Chris Harrison, had to call Victoria Lima as he saw her, saying of her meltdown on Season 18 Episode 2, “she was a mess.” Yep! Check your dictionaries for “hot mess,” ‘cause there’s a new photo after last night’s episode of The Bachelor.

The Rosemaster’s Entertainment Weekly blog covered the highs and lows of Juan Pablo Galavis’s first week of dating. Every season, Chris writes about the curse of the first date — since it tends to elicit some proprietary jealousy — and we’ll keep that in mind with this season’s lucky numero uno, Clare Crawley.

“Whoever gets that first date often has a great time and gets a rose, but it’s tough because they then have to wait for quite some time to get more alone time and that can lead to doubt and drama,” Chris explains. “But on this night, Clare and Juan Pablo were happy as could be. [...] She easily got the rose and quickly became one of the frontrunners.” Kat Hurd also got a date this week, but Chris did not mention her at all, so apparently she’s not one of his prospective frontrunners. Sorry, girl!

Credit: Todd Wawrychuk/ABC Television Group © 2013 Disney Photo: Renee Oteri and Juan Pablo Get Close During the Photoshoot in The Bachelor Season 18, Week 2

Chris had more love for the dog photo group date, but he seemed to question Elise Mosca’s decision to switch costumes with “free spirit” Lucy Aragon. Chris argued, “in the end that photo shoot was an intimate moment with Juan Pablo she probably wishes she could get back.”

Maybe. Maybe not. There’s no way to preserve your dignity when the choices are naked with a sign or dressed as a fire hydrant. Chris gave props to JPG’s “smooth talking” to get Andi Dorfman to strip for the shoot. But is it really a good thing when a guy can convince a girl to take her clothes off, when she’s clearly uncomfortable?  

Anyway, the canine-centered group date ended up being all about Victoria Lima are her classic quotes — including "I'm not a dog, I'm just a bitch." Chis enjoyed that aspect of The Victoria Show too. “My favorite Victoria quote is, ‘Life is about straddling people and things.,’” Chris wrote. “If you think about it, she’s right! She also introduced us to the new medical procedure the ‘hymen maneuver.’”

Ha! As much as everyone is taking shots at her, Victoria saved this week from being too syrupy. Bless her for that. Also, bless Renee Oteri for cleaning up everyone’s emotional mess. “Renee was such a trouper on this date,” Chris added, “trying to take care of her fellow Bachelorette — but I’m not sure any out of control emotional person is worth crawling on a bathroom floor for.”  

Renee may be too nice for this show. Or is she perfect for Juan Pablo? Do they have that spark or will she be stuck in the house mother role?

Who stood out to you this week, in good and bad ways? The usual suspects Chris wrote about, or maybe the other single mom Cassandra Ferguson, the still wonderfully awkward Sharleen Joynt, group rose recipient Kelly Travis, devastated dumpee Chantel Forrest, or poor forgotten Kat?

SourceEntertainment Weekly