Maybe it was his inexplicable neon yellow shirt, maybe it was the fact that he sexed up Clare Crawley in the ocean and then blamed her for the entire encounter, or maybe it was the fact that he sobbed his way through this week's Rose Ceremony, but Juan Pablo Galavis was on fuego this week. And not in a caliente way.

Our theory regarding Juan Pablo's transformation into a hot mess is simple: he's been possessed by the spirit of Christina Aguilera. In other words, his body's saying let's go, but his heart is saying no. The problem? Juan Pablo seems to be using his daughter, Camila (poor sweet thing) as an excuse to reject the ladies who he isn't interested in, while he conveniently forgot all about his little girl when Clare showed up on his doorstep at 4 a.m. to traumatize a few local dolphins with some ocean love making.

Juan Pablo and Clare most definitely hit a homerun (OK, we definitely don’t know that) in the South China Sea (don't worry, the whole thing was caught on tape and is probably in the basement being watched by some random ABC intern as we speak), but then Juan Pablo crushed poor Clare's heart by implying that a) he regretted their rendez-do, b) the entire thing was all her fault, and c) she single-handedly ruined Camila's childhood.

Our inner feminist was fuming at the way Juan Pablo treated Clare post oceanic sexy-time, but anger quickly turned to pity when we realized that Juan Pablo was wearing yet another terrible shirt. Oh, and that he was crying all over himself due to the fact that he had to eliminate three of members of his harem. It's moments like this that we realize just how emotionally taxing being a Bachelor is  — after all, it's not everyday that you have to say goodbye to three ladies who you've made literally zero eye contact with for the past five weeks!

Hopefully, Juan Pablo will check himself before he wrecks himself during his upcoming trip to New Zealand. Though if Chris Harrison forces him into a Legolas costume for a Lord of the Rings LARPing session, he'll probably earn the title of Hot Mess next week as well, bless his poor, confuzzled heart.