Kalon McMahon is kind of like Professor Snape in Harry Potter. You think he's an evil slime-ball, and then BOOM — he morphs into a beautiful studly stallion and blows your mind with his gentle soul and tender love. Sob!

We're huge fans of McManzone 'round these parts, and (bear with us here), we think he'd make a great Bachelor. Sure, he's slightly villainous — but we've rounded up 5 reasons Kalon should be ABC's next eligible hottie!

1. He's Kalon McMahon

Honestly, who wouldn't watch an entire season of The Bachelor devoted to Kalon? This is the guy who stared at himself in the mirror for a full five minutes while grinning evilly. He's a pure joy to watch on TV, spends most of his time cackling, and did we mention that he has a six-pack? We're just worried Chris Harrison won't be able to resist Kalon's siren call, and will steal him away from the bachelorettes so they can go tanning together.

2. He's The James Bond Of Bachelor Nation

This tall, dark (read: tanned) and handsome fella slayed us with his devastating good looks and charm during Emily Maynard's season of The Bachelorette, and we're pretty sure he could save us from all kinds of evil Russian villains named Goldfinger. When Kalon walks into a room, ladies stop and stare — and that's the exact kind of magnanimous presence that Chris Harrison looks for in his bachelors. Kalon's a shoe-in!

3. He's Misunderstood

Credit: ABC via WENN

Kalon might come off as a vaguely evil sociopath, but behind the crazy smile and those Mr. Burns finger-twirls lies an innocent puppy waiting to be adopted by a loving family of bachelorettes. We know, we know — the dude compared Ricki and her freedom cornrows to baggage, but just because he isn't a "kid person," doesn't necessarily mean he's a bad person. Don't judge a stud by his cover, ya'll.

4. He Wants To Be Loved

Credit: ABC via WENN

Um, can we please talk about the fact that Kalon's a tender-hearted love muffin who just wants to find the lady of his dreams? Kalon and Lindzi Cox were the cutest couple on Bachelor Pad 3, and we loved that Kalon cared more about her than the cash money. Kal could have spent the entire season bringing down The Pad with his smize, but instead he followed his heart and got his romance on. Awww! Kalzone can't wait to fall in love, which makes him prime Bachelor material. You listening, Chris Harrison?

5. He's Glamorous (oh, the flossy, flossy!)

We have no doubt that Kalon would treat his lady lovers to the most amazing dates in Bachelor history. First of all, every adventure would involve a helicopter ride (duh), and with any luck the ladies would get to accompany Kalon to a fancy men's clothing store, where he'd force them to watch him try on cufflinks and ankle garters for hours. You're welcome, ladies. Don't even mention it.

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