Credit: ABC via WENN

Sean Lowe's personal kissing trainer and Bachelorette runner-up, Arie Luyendyk, Jr., has a lot of thoughts about this week's saliva-soaked episode of The Bachelor. First of all, Arie is just as disappointed with Sean and Lesley's record-breaking "kiss" (read: torture session) as we were.

"I hate to say it because Sean is my buddy, but what a missed opportunity" Arie writes on his Bachelor Blog. "It was his time to shine. He had had her locked in for three-plus minutes, and she was leading him! (Nice hair grabbing, Lesley. You have some style, girl.)"

Yes, Sean and Lesley's kiss was an epic fail, but luckily Arie was distracted by a nearby flock of bikini babes. "Just when I was cutting through the awkwardness by eating Red Vines and checking Twitter, everyone changed into bikinis," Arie continues. "Now that got my attention! My only wish was that everyone could have been on that date."

Oh, Arie, you lovable perv, you! In other news, listen up Ladies Who Want Sean's Babies. Arie has some words of wisdom for you: "When a man calls you ‘crazy,’ it's safe to say it's over."

Real talk. Looking at you, Kacie B.