Credit: ABC via WENN

We’ve been LOLing our way through this whole season of The Bachelorette thanks to former Bachelor contestant Ashley Spivey’s blogs, screen grabs and captions — we’ve come to look forward to them almost as much as each new episode! Ashley didn’t disappoint this week either. She gives speaks her mind on all things hometown dates, including that massive fountain eruption — yep, she went there.

Admittedly, Chris Bukowski is not Ashley’s favorite. She feels the body language and chemistry is all wrong. Most importantly though is that Chris’ dad misinterprets his conversation with Emily Maynard, which sets Chris up for major heartbreak.

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Chris’ dad tells him that Emily is falling in love with him but he really just assumed this from what Emily said to him.  He asked if there were feelings of love and she replied, ‘I wouldn’t be here if there wasn’t.’  Basically, I think Emily meant that she has felt strongly for Chris but that doesn’t mean that she’s in love with him.

 

This totally explains why Chris was so hurt when he didn’t get a rose!

 

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For Ashley, Jef Holm’s hometown date was a slam dunk, home run, touchdown, hole-in-one! First Ashley notes their adorable PDA, “Emily and Jef are always holding hands or she rests her head on his shoulder — she always does this with people that she really likes!” Then she adds all that pent-up sexual frustration, “Can you imagine how hot and bothered Emily is at this point?  Imagine being with someone that you are so attracted to and ... you can only go to second base for almost 2 months!” Last but not least, Jef’s love letter — about which Ashley gushes: “It just makes me so sad that Ricki never got to know her dad but it makes me happy that she could possibly get an amazing step-dad at the end of the process!” Ashley’s verdict: Totally in love!

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Seeming to cool a bit were Arie Luyendyk, Jr. and Em. Ashley says, “I sort of thought that their conversation here seemed a little forced,” but she adds, “Regardless, I laughed when the fountain went off because it totally seemed like some sexual innuendo.” Even though their conversational chemistry was lacking, Ashley reminds us, “Who needs to talk when you can have amazing kisses?”

According to Ashley, mostly lackluster describes the kisses between Emily and Sean Lowe, but she has a theory as to why!

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When Sean runs to stop Emily and give her one more kiss, I have an epiphany.  Maybe he kisses her so awkwardly because he doesn’t feel totally comfortable on camera.  I can kind of see this.  He does always try to say the perfect thing and he does seem to play to the camera sometimes so maybe he just feels awkward?  Well – it shows buddy!

Makes perfect sense, Ashley!

Source: TheBachelorTV

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