If you’re not following Bachelor alum Ashley Spivey’s Bachelorette blog or Twitter feed, you’re missing out on a whole lotta awesome. Her Season 8, Episode 3 blog featured hilarious screen grabs, captions, and insider insights too good not to share.

Chris Bukowski, the first of Emily Maynard’s suitors this week, saw little love from Ashley. Yep, despite Emily’s gushing, Ashley’s not feeling Chris. She says, “He’s a little too monotone for my taste but he does seem really nice!” Beyond calling out that Chris “chickens out” out on the roof-top kiss, Ashley has another gripe: “Chris keeps on sticking out his tongue while they are dancing.  I really don’t like when people do this.” We kinda thought he was just getting into the Luke Bryant jam — but, yeah, we see what you mean.

Ashley also strongly dislikes Kalon McMahon — nicknamed TMDN for “ToolMcDoucheNugget.” All it takes is the one snide comment when Kalon tells Emily to let him finish, when Ashley says, “You can see all the ‘like’ go out of [Emily],” adding, “I’m really hoping that it’s TMDN that Emily tells to ‘Get the f*ck out!’  I’m tired of seeing his smug mug on my TV already y’all and we’re only 3 episodes in!” Amen, Ashley.

Credit: ABC

Which gent does get Ashley’s stamp of approval? Adorable, doting, forehead-kissing Arie Luyendyk, Jr., whom Ashley dubs “an amazing piece of mancandy.” Sigh, we know. He is all kinds of perfect. Ashley’s especially impressed with Arie’s reaction to Emily’s  you’re-not-getting-a-rose fake-out, noting, “Arie has a sense of humor and he actually laughs when Emily makes a joke.  (Yeah, I’m looking at you Ryan!)” Ashley also points out that their Dollywood make-out sesh was top notch, declaring, “The kiss that Arie and Emily share on the carousel is so hot it’ll make your teeth sweat.”

Source: Warnerbros.com
   
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