Credit: ABC via WENN

Ashley Spivey's stint on The Bachelor might be over, but girlfriend is a die-hard member of Bachelor Nation for life! She's just as obsessed with Emily Maynard's Bachelorette Bonanza as the rest of us, and she might be even more opinionated than we are. No, seriously –– so many amazing opinions.

Like most normal people, Ashley's crushin' on Sean Lowe, Arie Luyendyk, Jr., and Jef Holm. Here's what she has to say on her Bach Blog: "Sean and Jef really stepped it up this week and I have to admit that while I’m still Team Arie, the other two might be better fits for Emily. In my opinion; Sean is the pick her head would make, Jef is the pick her heart would make, and Arie is the pick her body would make." In other words, Emily's heart is saying no, but her body's saying let's go.

Credit: ABC via WENN

While Ashley is a big fan of Sean, she's worried about his kissing skills. "On paper, Sean is everything Emily is asking for. He is attractive, he is religious, he is a man, he wants a family, and he will always have her back – So why does she keep on giving him the type of kisses that Ben gave Kacie B.?"

Ash also has some harsh words for Kalon "Horrible Human Being" McMahon. "I knew Kalon sucked, but dear Lord, he really must have the heart and soul of a demon," she says. "I get it, he never imagined his first kid not being his own, but if that is true – WHY THE HELL DID HE GO ON THE SHOW TO POSSIBLY MARRY EMILY WHO HAS A KID???  Oh yeah, to be famous.  Good luck with that douchebag, we’ll talk about your acting skills a little bit later." Sigh, we love a girl who breaks into spontaneous caps lock.

Meanwhile Ashley loves Arie (even though he "gives her the sadz"), but it's time to talk about Jef Holm. "Jef hasn’t had as much 1-on-1 time with Emily as some of the other guys, but he really gets her devotion as a mom," Ash says. "The way to Emily’s heart is by loving Ricki just as much as her and Jef understands this. He tries to make Emily forget about the whole baggage comment by comparing Ricki to a Chloe bag and my heart just melts when he does this."

Join the club girl. Jef is the Herschel backpack of men!

Source: Warner Brothers