full size Jef Holm Gets His Hair Did at Salon Shag in Utah on June 6, 2012
Credit: Facebook

Nothing brings us more joy that the screen-capular beauty that is Ashley Spivey's Bachelorette blog. To paraphrase R.Kelly, her thoughts on this week's episode took us on a soulacoaster ride that we'll never forget. Also, we love that Ashley says what we're all thinking: "Can you imagine being in love with 3 people and not being able to hardcore makeout with them after 2 months? I bet Emily is going crazy!"

No we cannot imagine that, Ash. Which is why we spend monday night's making out with our TV screen every time Jef wanders into the frame. Anyway, time to break this gal's blog down:

Sean:

full size Why Did Emily Maynard Send Sean Lowe Home?
Credit: ABC via WENN

As much as I love Sean, I am always waiting for him to use that physical strength to totally dominate Emily and put her up against some more walls. No? Maybe I’ve read too much 50 Shades of Grey?

Jef:

full size Emily and Jef Kiss in the Curacao Sunset During The Bachelorette Season 8, Episode 9
Credit: ABC via WENN

Jef basically says here that he didn’t understand their love at the beginning since it’s been a messy whirlwind but when he takes a step back – it’s like a masterpiece. This reminds me of a quote from Clueless where they says people can be Monets (look hot from far away but they are a mess up close) and then I realize that Jef kinda reminds me of Christian but I’m hoping that Emily and Jef have a much happier ending.

Arie:

full size Emily and Arie Make Out in Curacao in The Bachelorette Season 8, Episode 9
Credit: ABC via WENN

Alas, Emily doesn’t even trust herself in a place with multiple beds around Arie so she decides to not even give him the fantasy suite date card. She actually cries when realizing that she will not be hooking up with Arie.

We bow to you, Ashley Spivey.

Source: TheBachelor.TV

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