It’s been quite the Bachelor “journey,” y’all. And after tonight’s Season 16 finale and “After the Final Rose” special air, we can officially say we came, we saw, we... might need therapy.
To avoid any major trauma, we’d like to prepare ourselves (and you) by analyzing the latest, uber-dramatic promo of tonight’s ep, the final of the tumultuous season. Won’t you join us? (Buckle up!)
Scene 1: A suited Ben looks up at a helicopter carrying one of his final two amid the peaks of Switzerland’s Matterhorn, where the final rose ceremony will take place.
Scene 2: Lindzi Cox twirls in her final rose ceremony outfit (GET A BETTER LOOK HERE!)
Scene 3: Courtney looks at herself in the mirror. We know we made a comparison to the Snow White Queen before but... ABC is really driving it home with this one.
Scene 4: Ben twirls his final rose. Could he be thinking about his baton-twirling castoff Kacie Boguskie? (Not likely.)
Scene 5: Flashback to Courtney’s infamous (and auto-tuned!) “I got the rooose” clip from earlier in the season.
Scene 6: Battle of the snow-set cuteness
a. Courtney and Ben go sledding.
b. Courtney and Lindzi kiss while skiing.
Scene 7: Another flashback of Courtney doing something that ticked off Ben’s now-ex contestants earlier in the season. Remember: bikini-gate?
Scene 8: The word “GOOD” flashes on the screen
Scene 9: Lindzi
a. Lindzi’s face smiling looking innocently up at Ben
b. Lindzi’s face smiling looking innocently up at Ben
Scene 10: The word “vs.” flashes on the screen
Scene 11: Ben stares down at his Neil Lane ring. (TAKE A CLOSER LOOK HERE!)
Scene 12: The word “COURTNEY” flashes on the screen. So if you missed it, ABC is playing off the “Good vs. Evil” saying by replacing the word “Evil” with “Courtney”... hmm, that’s not very nice, ABC.
Scene 13: Courtney (So, naturally, they show scenes of Courtney seemingly looking sinister:)
a. Courtney creepily drinks wine (ooooh)
b. Courtney smugly holding a rose (eeeeeeek!)
c. Courtney’s “kill shot” clip (OK, that one was pretty bad)
d. Courtney getting naked on their skinny-dipping date (hard to live that one down...)
Scene 14: “THE”
Scene 15: Ben waits at the final rose ceremony
Scene 16: “DRAMATIC”
Scene 17: Lindzi and her feather skirt walk up
Scene 18: “BACHELOR”
Scene 19: Ben waits some more while fidgeting with his fingers (jeez, OK, we get it, he nervously waits. A LOT).
Scene 20: “SEASON”
Scene 21: Courtney faces Ben at the final rose ceremony looking like she needs a drink (or just had one).
Scene 22: “FINALE”
Scene 23 - 3... holy sh*t that goes fast!
Final Scene: Ben says, “I’m not sure how this is going to end” in such hokey way that makes us imagine a frustrated producer directing him with, “Can we get MORE emotion, please” (a tip he could’ve used prior to filming).