Credit: ABC via WENN

If you thought Tierra LiCausi was going to be crowned Bachelor's Hot Mess of the Week, you are sorely mistaken. SORELY.

Despite the fact that she spent most of The Bachelor Season 17, Episode 4 ugly-crying, pretty-crying, lurking in shadows, and acting even crazier than Kris Kardashian circa the time she made this video, we love Tierra long-time. Plus, her hot-messiness is all part of an evil plot to take over the world, one six-pack at a time.

Which brings us to Amanda Meyer, otherwise known as The Bachelor's very own Lindsay Lohan (they love themselves some public intoxication, mmmk?). Let's just say this brunette bombshell didn't have a great week. First she lied about her roller derby skills, then she conducted an interview in which she straight-up cackled, and then she ended up face-planting on the ground and dissolving into tears. (Side note: high five to Amanda for being the first hospitalized contestant. We knew you had it in you, girl).

Amanda was pretty much a floppy mess throughout this entire episode, but the moment that really sealed the deal? When she made-out with invisible Sean Lowe during her post-hospital interview and wagged her tongue around at a bunch of cameramen.

We can only assume this poor girl was hopped up on vicodin and the fumes emanating from Sean's tuft of chest hair.