Tears, guys. Our eyes are still clouded with tears from that emotional Bachelor Season 17 finale. Most emotional ever? Maybe. We admit that quite a few springs were sprung in the ocular department here in our offices, and it’s been hard coming to terms with all of our feelings (“It’s not hungry or tired...” “I think what you’re feeling is called a feeling...”). But now that Season 17 of The Bachelor is over and Sean Lowe has chosen Catherine Giudici and forsaken all others, the real fun can begin.
All evening, Chris Harrison has been hinting that there’s a “huge surprise in store” that will be let out of its suffocating flower vase during tonight’s “After the Final Rose” special. So, what is it? Will the other girls be stoked to see him engaged? Let’s find out.
Sean is all glowy, and not in a super red sort of way (A+). He says “we’ve been in hiding since the show wrapped, and I just want to love her and I want to be with her.” All the swooning we didn’t feel all season watching them interact is now hitting us.
Sean’s gushes, "I had this long beautiful speech planned but I rushed it just because I wanted to get down on one knee." So, what’s the deal? Will we get to see it? Yes. Yes we will. Hopefully they’ll bring that heartbeat sound effect back.
Lindsay Yenter comes out and she’s still all baby-voiced but manages to keep it together and tell Sean that she doesn’t hate him. Take a lesson, AshLee. Somehow she is showing all the maturity while wearing what we would’ve worn at our wedding reception, so Chris takes it back. He’s like “let’s revisit the days after your life was completely destroyed.” Ouch.
“When did you know?” she asks, all shrugging off-beat. “After the one-on-one date,” Sean reveals. See, shoulda put out.
How did she get through it? Prayer. Her faith. She has clarity. Is that a type of bourbon? Because that’s who we would have turned to.
Chris says “America’s most popular couple will appear after the break.” Uh, Amy Poehler and WIll Arnett broke up. So did Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez. Um, KStew and RPatz? We’re so drunk confused. Ohhhh, Sean and Catherine. Magic that they are already so popular, considering Sean’s mom and dad had to “pray” for him to get a wife.
Part Two: We Skipped Part One
Sean is all bashful talking about how excited he is for Catherine to come out. “Are you sure?” Chris asks. It’s Sean, not Jason Mesnick dude...
Catherine comes out and shows off her ring. It is GORGEOUS.
"Everyone saw him with his white eyebrows and hair in Canada, and I could imagine him in old age," Catherine explains, of the moment when she knew she loved him. Cute.
“Was there ever a thought of this isn’t worth it?” Chris asks Catherine. “Not in Thailand,” she says. We’re dying to know when it was that she wasn’t all in.
"We loved the proposal," Chris says. Somewhere Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds are like "THANKS!"
So, now that they’re together and everyone knows, what do they want to do? Hold hands. Now come on, that HAS to be a euphemism. They reshow the proposal and Catherine cries a little and laughs at herself.
“I looked like a goob. All season,” Catherine says. You know it’s love when she didn’t even look at the ring. Well, love or insanity.
So, what's the big announcement? The wedding is going to be on TV. No date decided yet, but that's the announcement. Um, anyone else completely deflated? We were hoping at least for an immaculate conception...
They wanna get married, like, yesterday. So, June? July? They could get married on Bachelor Pad! Nothing says romance like background sex sounds.
What’s next for this couple? Is she moving to Dallas? Apparently her bags are packed and she’s ready to go. Really? We may be biased, but maybe he should move Northwest. The gray weather could do wonders for his skin tone.
Part Three: The Next Bachelorette
Now, the moment we’ve all been waiting for: Desiree Hartsock will be the next Bachelorette. We can’t WAIT to see more of her brother on the small screen. Nathaniel Hartsock, we’re ready for you, but are these dudes? MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
Chris is like “That’s the Des I know and love” when she, we dunno, smiles or laughs or says “THANK YOU SO MU-UCH.” This just in: Sean Lowe will host The Bachelorette Season 9 so that Chris can compete for her heart-sock.