Credit: ABC

We’ve been getting the worst looks at the grocery store for hoarding paper bags recently. But really? We need to have enough on hand to breathe into rhythmically as we prepare for Sean Lowe to maybe go off the market in the Bachelor Season 17 finale. Basically, our offices are like a giant Lamaze class, but with fewer sweating dudes. Since some of us used to be girl scouts, we believe in being prepared for the future. Here’s what the finale holds:

When Is The Bachelor 2013 Finale?
If you don’t know, now you know, homie.

Bachelor 2013 Finale: Who Wrote the Letter to Sean?
Spoiler alert: it wasn’t us. All the ones we send go straight to our government “special file.”

Where Was the Bachelor 2013 Finale Filmed?
Thailand. Geez, aren’t you even WATCHING?! No, but you’ve gotta see this place.

Bachelor Finale Spoilers: Does Sean Lowe Propose in Thailand? (PHOTOS)
Does he? (Cue paper bag breathing.)

Bachelor 2013 Finale Promo: Sean's Mom Doesn't Want Him to Propose
Well, that will certainly make for some awkward future family reunions...

Does Sean Lowe Pop the Question on The Bachelor Finale?
No, seriously, it’s all we’re thinking of. Do you think that if he did propose, he worked the word “special” into his heartfelt question?

Bachelor 2013: Do the Girls Provide Their Own Dresses for the Finale?
...or does someone from Cache just show up with a bunch of butterfly-adorned prom get-ups?

Who Made Catherine Giudici's Bachelor 2013 Finale Dress?
Hint: it wasn’t Des.

Bachelor 2013 Spoilers: Who Goes Home in the Finale?
Oh, yeah, that’s kind of a big question...

Grab your own breathing-assistance device and we’ll see you for the finale.