The Bachelor Season 17 is over. As is our reason for waking up in the morning. Luckily we'll always have the memories...and these OMG moments, which we rounded up while sobbing hysterically into our pile of Chris Harrison for DaVinci neckties.
1. Sean Lowe Rejects Lindsay Yenter
Sorry for any spelling errors in this article, our fingers our currently frostbitten after ritualistically dunking them in sub zero temperatures during a Sean Lowe prayer circle. Why? Because Sean's breakup with Lindsay Yenter made him even more sad that it made her. Dude looked like he had just eaten five maggots and a tray of crickets (oh, wait), i.e. completely disgusted with himself. Sean let Lindsay down in the sweetest way possible, but clearly she was telepathically telling her beach monkey friends to feed him to King Kong. We just hope this girl gets over the fact that she was rejected at the altar (Spoiler Alert: she totally did!).
2. Sean Asks Catherine Giudici to Marry Him
Did you see Catherine Giudici's face when Sean finally declared his love and got down on one knee? It was if the world was filled with elephants (her favorite animal) and Sean was the hunkiest elephant of all. But then, guys? Then Sean and Catherine mounted a REAL LIFE elephant and rode off into the sunset together, and which point Catherine couldn't resist herself, groped Sean's upper-inner thigh and then tweaked his nipple. Best proposal in Bachelor history, hands down. Also, we don't meant to offend Tierra by using the word "hand." We know hers are partially frozen.
3. Sean's Mom Wants Him to Stay Single
Sean has so many feelings. He's just filled with thoughts and prayers to Jesus (not to be confused with our personal lord and savior, Beysus), and this love journey had his brain cell (singular) spinning. Sean hoped his family would provide clarity while he made his decision between Lindsay and Catherine, but instead his mom stared in horror at her son's bare feet and practically begged him to stay single. Like, this lady actually started crying, that's how much she didn't want Sean to marry Catherine or Lindsay. To the left, haters. (Also, "the left" is Laos, or as Sean calls is "Laow").
4. Catherine Says "I Love You"
Most of Sean's lady loves declared their undying love for Sean's biceps by the fifth episode, but Catherine stayed hush-hush about her feels until her last moments with Sean. Oh, and then she broke down into a fit of hysterical crying, followed Sean to his hotel room, lingered awkwardly, and ended up face planting in anguish on her bed. Pretty much how our first experience saying "I love you" went as well. Only we totally didn't get proposed to after.
5. Much Anticipated Note = Biggest Letdown Ever
Remember when everyone was like "DHSADSAJDK, Sean is getting a note during the season finale!" And there were wild theories floating around the internets about what was in said note, who wrote it, and what it all meant? Yeah, turns out it was just an innocent love letter from Catherine, which basically reiterated all of the things she had said to Sean the night before. Way to give us high expectations for nothing, ABC commercial editors. Thanks for nothing.