Credit: ABC Television Group © 2012 Disney

By show of hands, how many of you said "Sean Lowe, because he’s found love with another cheerleader during his time off and it’s all over”? No one? Good, you’re paying attention, then.

But seriously, it’s rough going on The Bachelor these days. One day, you’re falling out of the sky and “falling in love,” the next day you’re getting on a plane and — hopefully — not falling... out... of the sky. But don’t worry, Sarah Herron fans, your girl with the golden mane is safesies. In fact, she gets a puppy. Her own, but still, Sean sends her a little pick-me-up in the form of her beloved pooch.

As for the other girls? Some aren’t so lucky. As we may have mentioned, Kacie Boguskie is on the outs with Seansie. Yeah, when a guy calls you “crazy,” it might be time to do a little Half Baked-style outro (“F you, F you, You cool, F you, I’m out”). At least for her sake, Sean let her go pre-rose ceremony, although we’re sad we don’t get to see her face as she watches lesser creatures get their plant-based love.

Aaaand, time to say your goodbyes, Kristy Kaminski. We loved watching your multitasking skills at work while you grinded on Sean at the video shoot and simultaneously smized for the prize, but it’s time to go back to your super successful modeling career. NEXT!

Oh, and Taryn. You’re really pretty and you look like Georgia King from The New Normal, but considering S-Lowe Gin Fizz couldn’t keep your name and story straight, we knew we couldn’t get too attached to you too fast... So, keep on wearing dresses of whatever length you want to formal occasions, and we’ll see you on the flipside.

Ya heard.

Source: Reality Steve