10. Brad, have you met Brad? Because Brad is all about emotional roller coasters — on and off the show
Brad [on Chantal]: She's entitled to emotions, everyone is. What I can't deal with in a relationship is an emotional roller coaster.
9. Which makes you perfect for Shawntel
Brad [on not kissing Emily because Ricki is upstairs]: I guess I'm just a weird guy.
8. Dad: 1, Shawntel: 0
Brad: She had me lie down...
Shawntel’s dad: On the [embalming] table?
Brad: On the table, yes sir.
Dad [to Shawntel]: No rose for you.
7. And when we go to South Africa, Ricki will just be a couple of continents away, so I won’t be able to kiss you then, either
Brad [to Emily]: I just met your daughter, she's sleeping upstairs. I want to kiss you, I'm just not.
6. It’s a good thing Michelle Money didn’t say this, because we’d suggest a restraining order
Shawntel: I think Brad feels good about his final resting place, because it's going to be, hopefully, with me.
5. You should be thinking, “I NEED TO GET UP OFF THIS CREEPY TABLE”
Brad: Laying on an embalming table, looking up at Shawntel with a face mask on, I'm thinking in my mind, “How many bodies have been on this table?"
4. Yes, it’s hard to pull off love-at-first-sight when you slap the guy
Chantal [to her father, about Brad]: From the moment I stepped out of that limo and I saw him — yes, I slapped him, but...
3. But what could be prettier than a mausoleum?
Shawntel: Welcome to Chico, and welcome to the mausoleum.
Brad: By the way, from what I've seen, I love it here.
Shawntel: Just wait, it gets even prettier.
Brad: No, I mean the town.
2. Brad, you struggle enough with English, don’t even try to branch out
Waitress in Maine: Ça va bien?
Brad: Did I say “Si”?
1. Isn’t death the opposite of healthy?
Shawntel: Death has been a big part of my life since I was a little girl — which I think is very healthy.
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Recap of The Bachelor Season 15, Episode 8: There’s No Place Like Home (For Awkwardness and Death)
Vote Now! If You Were Emily, Would You Introduce Brad to Ricki on Your Hometown Date?
In Memoriam: Michelle Money's Most Memorable Quotes from The Bachelor Season 15